


Sanguine

by lokilickedme



Category: British Actor RPF, OLLA, Only Lovers Left Alive (2013), Tom Hiddleston - Fandom, vampire - Fandom
Genre: Accidental Death, Adam needs hugs, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Biting, Blood Drinking, Blood and Violence, Bloodplay, Dark Adam, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional Sex, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Hallucinations, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Interspecies Romance, Interspecies Sex, Loss of Control, Loss of Innocence, Loss of Trust, Loss of Virginity, Mental Anguish, Mindfuck, Open Relationships, Oral Sex, Poor Adam, Pregnant Sex, Rape/Non-con Elements, Reference to alcohol abuse, Regret, Repressed Memories, Requited Love, Rough Sex, Sex, Sexual Violence, Sharing a Bed, Sleepy Cuddles, Tragic Romance, True Love, Unplanned Pregnancy, Vaginal Sex, Vampire Sex, Vampire Turning, Vampires, lovemaking, pregnancy loss, reference to drug abuse, suggested noncon, they finally did it!, waking nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-04-19 08:20:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 28,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4739396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lokilickedme/pseuds/lokilickedme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Years ago, Adam accidentally turned a young woman while under the influence of tainted blood.  Psychically linked to her for eternity, he begins to sense her presence again.  Explicit smut and a lot of angst, definitely not for the faint of heart - you've been warned!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue:  The Wind

**Author's Note:**

> san·guine  
> /ˈsaNGɡwən/  
> adjective  
> 1\. optimistic or positive, especially in an apparently bad or difficult situation.  
> synonyms: optimistic, hopeful, positive, confident.  
> 2\. literary: blood-red.  
> noun  
> 1\. a blood-red color.

 

 

 

 

His hair rustled in the arid breeze pushed through the city by the incoming storm, a hot, slightly stifling wind that did little more than stir the dust in the streets and bring a foreboding of the atmospheric instability that urged it forward.  Adam lifted his face to the breeze and inhaled, letting the scents of a hundred city blocks fill his nostrils.  The storm was two days out, he would be willing to bet his eye teeth on it.  And when it hit, the city would swelter in the damp heat until the cooling front finally announced its presence with a blast of chilly air, setting the ground to frost by the morning of the third day.

This was how the vampire saw his world, in scientific analyses that reduced everything to its ultimate cause and effect.   _Something happens, something else has to happen as a result._ It applied to more than just the weather, he ruminated with a heavy sigh.  

_Everything has a consequence, whether we intend for it to or not._

 

He had been walking the streets for most of the night, following his keen senses, heightened by the unsettled feeling in the pit of his stomach that something, somewhere, was not right.  It wasn't the city;  Detroit was always Detroit, it breathed and woke and slept and went on about its business as it always did, an empire rising and falling while he watched with weary eyes from the shadows.  It wasn't the incoming storm; it was following its correct path and pattern, doing as nature does, finding its own way without intervention from man.  No, this was something else. Something deeply personal.  He couldn't place it, but the feeling left him on edge, worried, with a sense of panicked urgency - though he had no idea what it was he was searching for, roaming the dark abandoned back streets of this decaying burg.

For a moment he thought he'd caught a fleeting scent on the wind, of vanilla and tobacco and blood...

_Her._

It couldn't be, not after all this time.  Adam shook his head, looking up into the star-speckled night sky with a wry half smile.  No, it couldn't be her.  Not here.  Not now.  Not after the way they'd parted...she would never come to him, not unless she truly needed him.

_Her skin on his, a sweetness he'd not experienced for so long, a sensation he didn't want to give up once he'd had it..._

He inhaled one more time, breathing deeply, almost hoping he was wrong and that she was there, somewhere, calling to him through their connection.  He'd taught her how, although he'd doubted at the time that she would ever use it after what he'd done.

_How could you, Adam?  I trusted you...you swore you'd never do this to me..._

_I'm sorry, Selina.  It was an accident.  I didn't mean to -_

_Don't touch me.  Never touch me again._

 

He turned and headed home, his half laced boots suddenly heavier as his gait slowed and a sneaky drowsiness began to creep up on him.  It would be morning soon, and he would sleep the languorous, deep sleep of the undead.  He looked forward to it with an almost happy anticipation - as happy as he could manage, at least.  He wasn't a creature known for gaity.  Surliness suited him better, and as he rounded the corner to his dark shuttered house he bared his fangs at a raccoon that scurried across his path.  It returned his hiss, pausing for only a moment to glare at him with angry, beady eyes.  It was their nightly routine, on nights when Adam actually ventured out.  

"See you tomorrow," the vampire murmured with a bored wave as the animal hurried on its way.

"Adam?"

He spun, all his senses suddenly alert, his eyes shifting to the ethereal green that enabled him to see in the dark, his already retracted fangs lowering again so quickly that they cut his lower lip.   _Dammit, how did I let someone sneak up on me?!_

He saw no one, but a quick sniff of the heated air brought a decidedly familiar scent to his awareness.  His eyes went wide as he peered into the darkness, seeing no one, but still savoring that smell.   _It can't be._

_Vanilla_

_Tobacco_

_and blood._

 

 

_To be continued..._

 


	2. Sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a different writing style than many of you are used to seeing from me, but I'm attempting to capture the sometimes disjointed thought processes that I feel Adam uses to function - after hundreds of years of existence, memories would no doubt become jumbled and somewhat messy, and much like the house he lives in, very very disorganized. His high intelligence and deep sentimentality would prevent him from discarding even the smallest, most insignificant of recollections...so the inside of his head no doubt looks something like a Jackson Pollock painting viewed through a kaleidoscope. My recommendation is to just hang on and enjoy :)

 

Adam did not dream, though he often lay in his bed on that thin cusp of semi-wakefulness that the human mind slips into when it is dipping its toe into the still waters of sleep.  So often it was the same half conscious thoughts that plagued him during this time when his body should be relaxing, preparing for the regenerative rest that it needed to sustain his life.

His life.  A half life, at best.  Immortality is wasted on the immortal, as Eve had so often told him when he was gripped by the icy hand of one of his depressive funks.  And it had only gotten worse.  But the girl...she had infused something into him, something new, something that he hadn't felt for many decades.  Something warm and comforting and - hopeful.  Something he might almost call a will to live, if he were inclined to think such a thing could ever grace him again.

He closed his eyes, willing their connection to open, begging her to speak to him.  But all he heard was her voice from long ago, rehashing an old argument that he never could win.

_We are alive, Selina.  It's just a different kind of life._

_Are you not undead...?_

_Undead means not dead, does it not?  What is not dead if not alive?_

She never wanted to listen to him, to his theories about the different kinds of existence.  Try as he might, she wouldn't be convinced.

 

When he finally slept, he could still smell that faintly sweet odor that the wind had carried to him, making him groan with a pained mixture of desire and broken longing as he curled around his pillow, his hips involuntarily thrusting against it for a brief moment before sleep took him.

_"You could let me turn you."_

_She shook her head, her adamant determination obvious.  "No," she said, her voice quiet but firm.  "Never.  Don't you ever do that to me, Adam, I mean it."_

_"Why not?"_

_"It goes against everything I believe in.  It's not right...something living should be alive."_

_"Do I go against everything you believe in?"_

_She stared at him, her eyes going soft when she saw the sadness in his.  He always touched her so deeply, his otherworldly beauty, the tragedy of him.  She pressed her palm to his cheek, feeling nothing there but his alabaster flesh, the rough stubble that had never grown in all the time she'd known him.  No warmth.  No life.  Yet, somehow, alive._

_"Yes, you do."  She had sighed, shaking her head, not willing to look at him any longer.  The pleading misery behind his eyes was too much for her to bear.  "I'll feed you, Adam.  For as long as you desire me, for as long as I'm able.  But I won't become you."_

 

He had kept her, more than a pet, often a lover, regrettably a food supply and far more than just an associate.  He considered her his friend, an honor he afforded to only a handful of the zombies per century. The select few that he chose were expected to provide whatever he needed by way of supplies, outside interaction, business dealings - anything he either couldn't do himself or didn't want to do.  For Adam was unfit emotionally for handling the day to day mundanities of moving amongst the living, an introvert, withdrawn and sullen most of the time, and so he chose the living to do it for him, settling upon a candidate only after an intense period of observation during which he ascertained the subject's qualifications for being his glorified gopher.  At times he required a business manager to deal with producers, distributors, the various other necessary evils of getting his music out into the world.  Other times he needed someone to fetch him things that could only be acquired during daylight hours, when he was safely tucked away in his bed, sleeping the deep, dreamless sleep of his kind.  And other times, he just needed a soft, warm neck to sink his teeth into.

She had served that purpose.

A soft, warm neck, upturned and exposed for him, so pale and tender and delicious, softly scented with vanilla and tobacco - and once his teeth had pierced her flesh, pure untainted  _blood._

 

He couldn't have stopped himself even if he had been in his right mind.  Coherent thoughts would have done him no good, as the blood lust had control of him completely.  All he could do was watch from the detached place deep inside his head where conscience and decency meant nothing, observing himself as he ripped the last shreds of Selina's trust in him away forever.  It fell away as easily as her clothing in his hands, torn as if they were nothing and tossed to the floor as callously as the way he now handled her, roughly and with no care.  

The memory filled him with bitterness as he remembered the scolding Eve had given him when she found out.

"Adam, you can't just turn someone and then abandon them to figure things out on their own.  You must _guide_ them, _teach_ them - "

"I know, _I know_. _"_     His shame showed on his face as he frowned, casting his gaze anywhere except at her.  "I didn't abandon her, she left me."

Eve had given him a baleful stare with those otherworldly eyes of hers, her sympathy and compassion outshining any anger or disappointment he was certain she must have felt.  He knew he had let Selina down, he didn't need his mate to shove his failure into his face again, no matter how gently she did it.  It hurt already, it had hurt since the night he'd done it, and he had never forgiven himself.  He never would.

"Well, I suppose there is one thing," Eve had finally said with a sigh, ruffling a hand through Adam's shaggy black hair.  He was almost afraid to ask.

"What one thing?"

Her face carefully blank, she had looked at him without blinking, her fingers tugging absently at a tangled strand.  "You're linked to her now. Maybe she'll contact you if she gets into trouble.  You do remember how to do that, don't you?  The connection?"

He had nodded, half lying.  He was so out of practice, he didn't even know if he would recognize a call if it came.

"She won't contact me, Eve.  She hates me.  I hurt her."

The sigh that met his ears was heavy, sad, pitying.  He could no longer bear to look at her, so he had closed his eyes and curled up on his side, drawing his knees up to hide his face.

 

_Vanilla_

_Tobacco_

_and blood._

Adam awoke with a start, his eyes darting around the darkened room in alarm, his irises shifting from blue to green as his fangs protracted. There was no one there, of course;  the house was a fortress, impregnable, safe.  But the uneasy feeling of another presence nearby kept him from settling and he sat on the edge of his bed, sharp teeth slowly retracting as he calmed.

He had smelled it again, that faintly sweet odor that tickled his memories as much as it teased his nostrils.  It had been her scent, the olfactory signature that his brain had assigned to her.  She had always worn that perfume, men's cologne that she insisted smelled so good she didn't care if it wasn't for women.  Adam had feigned disinterest when she made the argument, but the scent pleased him.  He found it comforting, calming, and sniffing it on her neck as he fed from her helped keep him in control of his impulses when the bloodlust overtook him.

But why was he smelling it now?

Sighing as he rubbed his face in exasperation, he fell back onto the pillows and dragged one over onto his face.  The total blackness soothed him, but the faint hint of her perfume was still haunting him, even as he inhaled his own warm breath under the pillow.  

_Where are you?_

There was no answer and he threw the pillow aside, frustration stirring his anger.

"Where the fuck are you?!"

Before he realized it, he had taken himself in hand, pushing the sheets down to grip his cock, only mildly surprised to find himself already engorged.

 

_Her legs parting beneath his hands, opening to him so willingly, accepting his mouth on her without protest as he licked her slowly, dragging his tongue along her slit as a strangled gasp escaped her throat._

_I'll make sure it doesn't hurt, baby._

_His teeth elongating as he sucked at her, grazing her skin with their razor sharp tips.  Her hips rising to meet his face, his sudden inability to control his urge to sink his fangs into her softly plump labia, fighting his primal needs but in the end unable to subdue them completely.  Her sharp cry as he bit her, the warm, salty blood filling his mouth, mingling with the juices of her arousal.  He knew her cry wasn't purely pain - he'd made sure her endorphins would numb the worst of it.  He raised his head to look up at her face, not wanting to make her suffer._

_No, the cry was pleasure.  She was already coming, her hips thrusting against his face as he licked her clit, sucking the blood that gushed from the punctures just below it.  It flowed more copiously as her heart rate increased, pumping through her veins, emptying into his mouth._

_The gutteral sounds of his slurping, the agonized noise of her heated climax.  He listened as both gradually died down, his need to feed almost sated, her bleeding slowing to a trickle as her heart slowed, her orgasm abating._

_Adam..._

 

He looked down as his breath hitched painfully and realized he'd come in his hand.

"Shit."

Looking around for something to wipe it on, he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stood up.  

There it was again.

Vanilla and tobacco.  And blood.  The unmistakable aroma of fresh, warm, pure, _clean_ blood.  Untainted, unsullied, perfect.   _Delicious._  It made his mouth water and he felt his fangs coming down again for the second time that night without his consent.

"Dammit Selina," he muttered, crossing to the bathroom to wash his hand.  "Why are you hiding?"

He glanced in the mirror above the sink, something he never did.  He knew there would be no reflection.  Nothingness, staring back at him.  It unsettled him, it always had.  Eve found it amusing but he couldn't bring himself to face the empty space where he should be.

Tonight was no different.

"Where are you?"

He didn't know if he was asking his nonexistent reflection, or if the question was directed at the formless wraith that had been haunting him since his walk.   _Oh,_ S _elina._  He closed his eyes, trying to sense her, but nothing came to him and he shook his head, laughing bitterly at himself.

"You should have paid better attention when Eve was teaching you this stuff," he grumbled, tossing his soiled towel at the empty mirror.

 

_To be continued..._

 

 


	3. Connection

 

 

It had been years since Adam had kept a donor.  For a little while after Selina left him he had crept around dark nightclubs, preying on the drunken and drug-induced willing, letting himself be sickened by their filthy pharmaceutically muddied blood.  He didn't care.  He hoped he would hit the hemo jackpot and contract something truly nasty, dying a painful, rotting death, but his damned luck held out and the worst he found was hangover after hangover and a few bouts of particularly violent retching in the alley.  It was sullied blood that had lost him his lover, but apparently sullied blood wasn't going to be what lost him his life.

_Damn my luck._

And then he had given it up, returning to his old arrangement of procuring clean blood from the hemo lab of the local hospital.  The original technician had left his job suddenly after encountering Adam with his fangs out, overcome with the bloodlust after a vial of O-negative had fallen to the floor and shattered;  the scent of the fresh, pure blood had been too much for the vampire and his primal instincts had taken over, protracting his long sharp teeth and shifting his eyes to the glowing, frightening green of his true nature.  Doctor Watson had left the hospital's services that night and never returned.

The new technician, a woman, was enamored of Adam's sweet face and politely stilted manners, but he carefully avoided physical contact with her despite her obvious attempts at cozying up to him.  To take another donor was out of the question, and taking a lover with no purpose other than sex was pointless and dangerous.  So he bought his blood and left quickly, avoiding entanglements, keeping to himself as was his tendency.  Being around the zombies was self destructive, and he had decided dying would let him off too easy.  Staying alive would be a much more suitable punishment.  It was the unwanted damage he had inflicted upon her - the inability to stop living.  He would suffer it along with her.

Too bad they were both doing their suffering alone.

 

_Adam..._

He knelt over her on the bed, his knees on either side of her hips, his lips searching their way from the soft underside of her jaw down her throat. The need to bite, to puncture and suck, was nearly unbearable as his tongue dragged across her pulsing jugular, throbbing with the warm, sustaining life blood within her.  A life blood that she shared with him, nourishing him nightly from her own body, sustaining herself and him both.

_Be careful Adam..._

He couldn't afford to hurt her.  To lose control with her, to drink too much from her veins, would be catastrophic.  Of course, if that happened, he could always turn her...and he knew he would, if the need arose. But he also knew she would hate him forever if it came to that.

_Don't you ever do that to me, Adam.  Don't you dare._

_Why?_

_It doesn't matter why.  Just promise me you'll never do it._

Her lids had been heavy with lust but her mind always remained clear on this matter.  It wasn't the first time they had discussed it, definitely not the first time he had tried to convince her to change her mind.

_You could be with me forever.  Stay just as you are now.  Young and pure and perfect._

His hips moving against her now, rubbing into her, not joined yet but teasing, taunting.  

_You could have this, with me, forever..._

_Adam...no..._

A moan escaping her lips as he entered her, his hips meeting hers in a sharp clash of bone on bone, the brief look of discomfort on her face that always quickly gave way to an almost anguished ecstasy as he pushed into her.  It was always like this, the sensation of filling her, the lonely beauty of their ethereal tango, his soul calling out to her and listening, listening, hoping to hear hers answer.

But her soul was stubborn, refusing to so much as whisper in response.

 

It had always hurt his feelings, her emotional distance from him.  He knew she loved him, cared for him deeply;  she shared her body with him, her blood, but she kept her mind closed off from him.  He had the gift of the old, a skill acquired through age, enabling him to sense and sometimes read the thoughts of the person he was physically touching.  The effect was even stronger with a person whose blood was leaving their body and entering his.  And though he didn't use it often, he felt the need to connect with her this way, to feel her thoughts wash over him and through him as her blood did the same.

But Selina had kicked him out the first time he had invaded her thoughts.  

_No, Adam...that's mine.  I don't want you there._

_Baby...please..._

_No._

 

He had pursued her with great determination.  She wasn't an easy catch, not coquettish or shy, just quite simply not interested.  But in the end he had won her over with honesty, exposing his true self to her, falling in love with her the moment she had curiously reached out her hand to touch his protracted fangs with an unshaking fingertip.  She wasn't afraid of him.  He had confessed his intention and she had listened, never flinching, never drawing away, and two nights later she had returned, unbuttoning her blouse to expose her throat to him.  

And he had taken it gratefully, gently, handling her carefully and keeping his baser desires tightly in check as he delicately punctured her soft pale flesh.  

He didn't make love to her that night, but he had climaxed at the peak of his bloodlust, his body shuddering against hers as he drew his final mouthful of her blood and swallowed.  He felt no shame but was worried that she might think he only wanted her for sexual gratification, that perhaps the drinking of her blood was a fetishist act.  But as he licked her neck clean and gathered her against him tenderly, she had stroked his face and sighed in contentment.  She was weak and he urged her to sleep, whispering that he would watch over her and keep her safe, kissing her forehead soothingly as she drifted into unconsciousness against his chest.

 _She trusted him._  The profoundness of this fact wasn't lost on him.  He treasured it, vowing he would keep it close to his heart always, never betraying it.

Until the night he did just that.

 

_Vanilla_

_Tobacco_

_and blood..._

He had fallen asleep on the sofa again, his chin bumping his chest as his head fell forward, jerking awake with the shocked sensation of falling. Before his eyes even opened he sniffed the air, taking in the scents that surrounded him, the familiar musty smell of the ancient rug beneath his bare feet, the oak and burgundy brocade of the antique furniture, the rich woods of the instruments strewn around the room in a haphazard pattern of frequent use.  And above it all, somewhere high and almost unreachable, was the smoky, sweet, coppery scent of her.

He let his eyes remain closed, still drowsy and unwilling to completely rouse himself.  There was no need...he knew she wasn't there.

"Selina, I know you're hiding from me.  I can smell that damn Tom Ford perfume you always wore."  He laughed a little, amused that he remembered its name.   _Tobacco Vanille._  He inhaled deeply, the way he used to when he was at her throat, filling his lungs with it, with her. "Why don't you come out, baby...I'm sure you have some things to say to me."

He waited, knowing there would be no answer, but still disappointed when there wasn't.

 

 

_To be continued..._

 


	4. Contrition

 

 

His wife had been delighted with his decision to take a lover.  She knew how lonely he was, how he sulked and hid himself away from the world while she was at her home in Tangiers.  She had always encouraged him to find someone to satisfy his emotional needs while they were apart.

His news of Selina was a welcome thing.

"Take her, my love.  Consider her a gift, with my blessing."

Adam smiled, his gratitude shining in his large, soft eyes.  "Thank you, Eve."  He kissed her hand, slowly, sensually, closing his eyes against the psychic jolt he got from contact with her bare skin after so long apart.  "You would love her, she has your insatiable curiosity for everything this world has to offer...and some things it doesn't."

Eve laughed, throwing her head back, and Adam eyed her long slender throat with keen interest.  It had been so long since he'd bitten her...it used to be a part of their foreplay, nipping at each other's jugulars, reveling in the sharp, piercing pain of penetration.  He'd already fed, but the desire to bite and suck was strong, even when he was sated.  Eve sensed his need and touched his cheek, holding his gaze with her own.

"Go to her," she whispered.

"Eve..."

"Go on," she urged, petting him gently.  "Secure your bond with her.  Bring her back here if you wish, let her sleep with us.  Do you think she would approve?"

Adam shook his head;  no, Selina wasn't ready to be shared.  Intimacy with him was one thing, sleeping between himself and his wife was quite another.  "Not yet.  Give her time, she's still getting used to me."

Eve nodded her approval, understanding.  The girl would still be in the early stages of accepting the new truths she'd just been taught - that there are other beings in this world besides ourselves.  It wouldn't do to rush her.

She spent the night alone, reading the books she kept stored under Adam's bed, happy and content that her love had found someone to fill the lonely void of her absence.  She worried about him so much...now, perhaps, there was someone else willing to overlook his difficult personality and actually, truly, care for him.

 

_Fuck, Selina...you feel so good, baby._

_Oh Adam..._

_He had bitten her far too deeply, far too many times, but still she offered him new places to sink his teeth into.  He sipped lightly instead of drinking deeply from her so that he could enjoy each and every penetration, licking her wounds to seal them, keeping her from bleeding out. He smiled as she turned over onto her stomach, offering up her naked ass to him, giggling a charming little girlish laugh as he licked and sucked his way over the curve of her cheek till he reached that sensitive place where thigh creases into buttock.  He nipped her there, holding her hips with his hands, loving the way her body jerked and writhed under his attentions.  And when his teeth sank into her flesh her back arched enough for him to push his hand under her, finding her swollen clit and stroking it gently till she came, all breathy moans and harsh rasping gasps, his name caught on the soft breeze of her sigh._

 

"Selina, I know you're there.  Come on out, you silly wench."  He looked around, turning in a slow circle with his arms outstretched, as if waiting for a sniper's laser scope to pinpoint his chest.  "Come on, I can smell you.  That scent's not exactly subtle."

_And it's not like I wouldn't recognize it._

A couple stumbled past the mouth of the alley, laughing at some shared bit of humor between them, startled when they caught sight of him. Adam only glanced at them, his disinterest evident in the dismissive way he turned his face back up to the sky as they rushed along, unnerved by his behavior.

"What do you want, baby?  Come out and talk to me - stop hiding, please?  I'll do whatever you want, anything you ask.  Just...let me see you."

Nothing.  He was talking to the black sky in a dark alley behind a noisy nightclub, and there was no sign of her anywhere - none that he could see, anyway.

But his senses were alight with the awareness of her, and this time it was more than just her perfume.

This time, he could feel her, and his skin prickled with an invisible touch that both warmed and chilled him.  Had she learned to project herself? Was she a thousand miles away, poking at him with her mind?  No, there was no way...not unless she had found another of their kind, someone older and more experienced than him.  He bristled with a surge of jealousy that rose in his throat like bile.  He had betrayed her trust, broken the emotional bond they had between them with his own mistake...she owed him nothing, she was free to find another to mentor her if she so desired.  But it didn't make it any easier for him to accept that she might have done just that.

It had been nearly a decade.  A series of a few yesterdays to their kind, a mere trifle of time to an immortal.  He still saw her as if he'd just said goodbye to her an hour ago.  But in truth he had never had the chance to say goodbye...she had turned and walked away and he had stood there, silent and ashamed, and watched her go without a word.

_At least let me say goodbye to you, sweetheart...let me kiss you just once more, if your heart can forgive me for the two seconds it would take to press my lips to your cheek._

He waited, hoping for nothing more than to hear a faint _fuck you_ on the cool night breeze.  But it wasn't there, and he walked home with a heart so leaden and heavy that he fell across his bed fully clothed, boots still on his feet, face down in his grief and loneliness.

 

_Adam..._

_Selina, I feel you, are you touching me?_

_Yes._

_Why?  Why won't you let me see you?_

_You don't deserve to see me._

_But I deserve your touch?_

_No...I do._

 

He knew it wasn't a dream.  He didn't dream, he had shut that part of his subconscious off when she had walked away from him, unwilling to subject himself to the pain of seeing her behind his eyelids while he slept, for fear he might never sleep again.  He didn't even know if he could turn it back on.  Perhaps she had tried to contact him that way, but found the door shut?  Was she desperately trying to reach him through this other means because his dreams were locked?  Eve's bitch sister had taken advantage of his dreams after he'd booted her out of his home years ago, so shutting them off had been a relief from her intrusion at least.  But had he inadvertently locked Selina out as well?

_Baby...please...tell me what to do._

There was no answer.

 

"You need to face it, Adam."

He shook his head, shutting his eyes tight.

"No.  I can't, Eve."

"You must - it might be what finally allows her to speak to you."

"But she has spoken to me.  At least I think she has.  I don't know, maybe I imagined it.  I haven't been sleeping well."

Eve sighed.  Even over the phone Adam could hear the frustration in the sound.  He knew he tried her patience, but he couldn't help it, it was just in his nature to be arbitrary.

"Darling, your guilt over what happened very well may be what's keeping the two of you from being able to use your link, have you thought of that?"

"Yes, I've thought of that."

"Then why aren't you willing to do what you know you must do to repair it?  You're the big fix-it man, always cobbling solutions together out of coat hangers and shoestrings.  Throw something together and make this work."

He groaned, rubbing his face with his palms.  She was right.  Eve knew her shit.

"Alright.  But Eve, it's bad."

"I know, my love."

"No, I mean it's really bad.  Worse than you know."

"Oh?"

"Yeah.  I didn't just lose control and turn her.  I forced myself on her."

"Oh Adam."  There was no judgement in her voice, only compassion, and Adam continued his confession with the certainty that she would never hate him for what he was about to say.

"I was so strung out I couldn't even have told you my own name.  The only reason she didn't die was because her blood was so pure...I drained her and it cleared my head enough that I saw what I'd done and was able to get my blood into her before her heart stopped."

"You saved her."

"No, I _killed_ her!  Don't make it into something romantic Eve, I fucking got stoned out of my head on shitty blood and I raped her, then drank her dry.  There is _nowhere_ in this story that I become her knight in shining armor."

Eve was silent for a long moment, her face turned away.  Adam could barely stand to look at her, even though she was no more than an image on the television screen.  His face felt hot with shame.

"And it's even worse than that, Eve.  Believe it or not, it gets worse."

He didn't volunteer any more information, and she didn't ask for it.

_She was already pulling away from me.  That was why I'd gone to the club to find a donor...she hadn't come that night, nor the night before, and my hunger was turning me into an animal.  I took the first willing zombie I could find, a record executive who hung out in the dark back corners, always watching me when I came in.  I knew he'd go easy.  I went straight to him and he welcomed me with open arms.  And when I left, stumbling and dizzy, the drugs in his blood robbing me of all my good judgement and self control, I finally found her here, waiting for me.  She was coming to tell me her news, a happy smile on her face.  I have something to tell you, Adam..._

_But I didn't let her finish.  I didn't even let her start.  I took her, rough and brutal, ripping away her dignity and her trust, completely blinded by my lust.  And then I bit her, and the first drop of blood activated that fierce, violent beast inside me.  It had its way with her, and when it was finished, it stood over her with blood dripping from its maw, staring down at a torn and dying human at its feet.  A dying human with something clenched in its hand.  A photo...a black and white image, of an unborn baby._

 

"I'm sorry, Selina.  I'm so sorry.  I don't expect you to ever forgive me, but I would like the chance to tell you to your face, if you would allow me."

He waited, not expecting anything.  A response would have been a surprise, so when nothing happened, there was no disappointment.  Just acceptance.  

"Well...so long as you know that I loved you...I still love you.  It's no consolation, I know, having the love of the person who murdered you and took everything away from you.  I suppose it's an insult, really, for me to dare to love you after what I did to you.  But god help me, I can't stop it."

"Does God care about us?"

Out of the corner of his eye he caught the slightest glimpse of movement by the curtains. _The breeze,_ he tried to convince himself.   _Through a closed window, happens all the time, drafty old house._

"I don't know, honestly.  I've always been something of an atheist, but if I believed in a god, I don't know if our kind is within the realm of his job description."

_And I'm talking to the wind.  The same wind that carried in that whiff of vanilla and tobacco._

He closed his eyes, wishing he was asleep so that he could wake up and start again in a new night.  A new night of the same grief, but there was something to be said for a nice hard reboot.  He got up from the worn sofa and made his way to the bedroom, pulling the ties of his dressing robe open, falling naked across the bed and hugging a pillow to his chest.  He closed his eyes and inhaled it, remembering how the top of her head smelled when he'd done this with her.  Pushing his hips against it, thrusting gently, the way he'd done with her.  When he felt his arousal begin to manifest itself, a grim smile came to his lips...he left it untouched, allowing himself to suffer until sleep finally took him.

When he awoke that night, his erection was still with him, throbbing and painful, but he still refused to relieve himself.  The suffering made him feel better;  the worse it got, the more he felt he was getting what he deserved.  It would never be bad enough to wash his sins away, and eventually he would give in and stroke himself to a bitter, desperate release, but until then he found something mildly satisfying in the irony of abusing himself via lack of self abuse.

He finally slipped out of bed and wrapped his robe around his body again, shuffling slowly down the stairs to begin the long, lonely night, just him and his instruments and his music, sending their joint efforts out into the universe.

He didn't notice the crumpled black and white photo on the bedside table.  But he had smelled the drop of dried blood that stained its surface, imagining it to be another trick of the wind, still messing with his mind.

 

 

_To be continued..._

 

 

 

 


	5. Evolution

 

 

"Are you trying to say that she conceived from you?"

"Yes."

"But Adam, that shouldn't be possible."

"I know!"

Eve stared at him, disbelief clouding her expression.  "I suppose, it might be - it would be a one to a million likeliness against it."  Her head jerked up in surprise, a smile spreading across her face.  "Do you think we're evolving?"

Adam shook his head, sighing heavily.  "I don't know, Eve.  Science dictates that all living things must evolve to survive.  I suppose that includes us, somehow."

She reached out, touched his shoulder, felt sadness when he flinched.  "Do you know for certain she was with no other men during the time she was with you?"

"I have no way of knowing what she did when she left here each morning.  But I know she was a virgin when she first came to me."  He closed his eyes at the sweet memory of their first time, of feeling her body give way to him, of tasting her hot sweet blood pushed into his mouth by the racing of her heart as she took her first pleasure from him.  It had gushed in rhythm with her heartbeat and the memory excited him, the recollection of how she tasted, her blood filled with the heady endorphins that her brain released upon climax.  "I do believe her."

"Oh Adam, _this_ \- this is _huge._  If we can reproduce with the zombies - "

"Eve, stop."  He shook his head, giving her a warning wave of his hand.  "Just don't."

"But darling - "

He whipped his head around to glare at her, his eyes shifting for just a moment, letting her know she was treading on dangerous ground that he was in no mood to traverse.   _"Must I remind you that I killed the child."_

Eve's mouth dropped open, her eyes unblinking, locked to him even though he refused to return contact.  In her excitement at the possibilities of their evolution, she had overlooked the simple source of Adam's worst pain.  When he had turned Selina, her body had died and been resurrected in their form, reinfused with a life that was different, immortal.  The fragile mortal life inside her couldn't have survived the process.

"Oh Adam.  I'm so sorry, my love.  I didn't think of that."

_I think of it every damn day.  Every waking moment, the reality of what I've done._

 

"Shall I go ahead and bite you now?"

Selina nodded, her eyes heavy and bright with desire.  Adam was already between her legs, their naked bodies skin to skin beneath the sheet, but he hadn't entered her yet.  His need to taste her was overwhelming and he nuzzled at her throat, licking and nipping her flesh with his teeth, carefully keeping his fangs from coming down yet.  She had given him permission, but he wanted to savor this moment. He had been feeding from her for many nights now and he knew, he knew it deep inside himself, that he wanted to be with her completely, to own her in every way possible, for her to belong to him.  But he wanted none of it without her consent.

Her hands were sliding up his sides, stroking his ribs, her legs coming up to squeeze his hips as he thrust against her without thinking about it.

"Are you sure you want this?"

She nodded.  "Don't hurt me, Adam.  I don't want to have to be mad at you."

He wanted to smile but wasn't sure if he should.  "I won't, baby."  He shifted to line himself up with her opening as she spread her legs wider for him, watching her face, worried that the suddenly furrowed brow indicated a change in consent.  "Are you okay?"

"This is my first time, Adam," she whispered haltingly, her words breaking.  "I'm a - I've never - ."

It was his turn to nod, the breath taken from his lungs, disabling his ability to speak.  "I'll be careful, sweetheart.  I promise."

And then he had bitten her, waiting until her back arched and pushed her chest up against his before sinking into her, sucking hard at her throat to distract her from the pain between her legs where he was joined with her.

 

Afterward, he had slowly kissed his way down her shivering body till his lips found the small smear of blood at the crease of her inner thigh. Licking it away, pushing his tongue gently into her to find the rest, listening to her tiny moans of pleasure as he pressed his mouth into her folds and sucked.  He felt complete, sated and warm with her blood in his belly and the physical release of coming inside her.  He looked up at her face, thinking for a moment that he had heard her crying, but her face was serene and content.

"Thank you," he said softly, resting his cheek against her belly.  He could hear the blood flowing through her iliac artery and it made his mouth water, even though he'd already eaten his fill.  "For this," he added, pressing his finger against her opening gently;  she flinched just slightly and he felt her softness clench around his finger.  He wanted to slip it further inside and play with her a bit, but he sensed that she needed to rest. Her body had responded to him with such eager abandon that he knew she must be tired from that alone.  Adding to it the fact that he'd drank so much of her blood...he withdrew his finger and slowly crawled back up her body, straddling her with his arms and legs, leaning down to kiss her lips once he'd reached her face.   _"And for this,"_   he whispered as he dragged his tongue warmly down her cheek to the side of her neck, where two small red punctures lay against her softly throbbing pulsepoint, the smallest trickle of blood oozing from them.

She sighed, her eyes closed, her entire body relaxed beneath him as he lowered himself onto her and rolled onto his side, taking her with him to settle with her head tucked under his chin.

"Thank you for not hurting me," she whispered, nuzzling into his neck as her hands came up to rest against his chest, stroking him lightly.  Adam wasn't sure what affected him the most - the relief that he hadn't, or the fact that she had expected him to.

 

He awoke, coming into consciousness slowly and with great disorientation as he always did, blinking hard as his surroundings came into his awareness;  his black bedsheets, bunched up around his waist and tangled around his legs.  The heavy burgundy crushed velvet drapes that held the sunlight back, drenching his bedroom in total darkness during the daylight hours while he slept.  The sound of nothingness, blocked out by the soundproofing he had tacked onto every wall in the house.  And the scent of vanilla and tobacco.

"Selina, shit, must you start so damn early with the teasing?"

He rolled over and slowly lowered his legs off the edge of the bed, resisting wakefulness as he always did.  If he had his way he would sleep all the time, but there was music to be made, and his muse had been particularly generous with inspiration of late.  He sighed with resignation, knowing deep inside as he had always known - that _she_ was his muse now, and the inspiration she was lavishing on him was his thwarted love for her.

"Fuck."

"You always did have a mouth on you."

His hands were over his eyes, rubbing his cheeks, trying to scruff himself into wakefulness.  His only response to the disembodied voice in his head was to huff out a little sound of derision.

"And you always loved my mouth on _you."_

There was a pause as he began to realize... _the voice wasn't in his head._ He spread his fingers and tentatively peeked out from between them, not knowing what he expected to see.

"Touche."

Her face.  Just briefly, brief enough for him to immediately tell himself _you imagined it.  She's not really there._ And in the amount of time it took for him to blink, it was gone.

 

He saw her again, a fleeting glimpse in the shadows as he passed an abandoned alley.  Crossing at the intersection on Commerce while he was waiting for the light to go green.  In the waiting room outside the ER when he went to buy blood.  And each time when he looked a little harder, a little closer, it was never her, though he knew it had been.  If only for a moment, a split second of time no longer than a heartbeat, it was her.

_Are you planning to drive me insane?_

There was no answer, of course.

 

_He looked down, his head clearing, his conscious mind retaking dominance as his eyes - his own, not the monster's - surveyed the horror he had unleashed.  At first there was denial...he couldn't have done this...followed by a violent sick lurching sensation in the pit of his gut when his eyes cleared completely and he realized the red sheen over everything wasn't his waning bloodlust...it was actual blood.  It was everywhere, puddled on the floor, splashed on the walls, smeared on him...and, most disturbingly, soaking the body at his feet.  Lastly came acceptance as he sank to his knees and cradled the body in his arms, sobbing her name, not wanting to push the matted bloody hair from her face to confirm what he already knew._

_He'd killed Selina._

_There was no coming back from this._

 

 

_To be continued..._


	6. Inception

 

 

_How could you, Adam?  I trusted you...you swore you'd never do this to me..._

_I'm sorry, Selina.  It was an accident.  I didn't mean to -_

_Don't touch me.  Never touch me again._

 

He'd had to teach her as much as he could before she could no longer stand being near him.  He knew she was going to leave, but she was still weak, frightened, completely lost.  She was something new now, something just born, a creature whose eyes had only just opened for the first time, seeing the world through a different awareness.

And the first thing she saw when she opened her new eyes was her killer.

She had retained her memory of what happened.  She remembered backing away from him, seeing his eyes shift and his fangs come down as he advanced on her.   _Something's not right.  Adam?_

He didn't answer.  He couldn't...the bloodlust had him.  His drug addled mind had shut out his love for her, the tender familiarity that should have kept him from hurting her was no longer functioning.  The failsafe was gone, he was an animal, wild and primal and completely out of control, and he was _hungry._

He had fed, but not nearly enough to satisfy him.  He'd been forced to stop by the galling taste of the man's blood, laced with illicit drugs and copious amounts of cheap alcohol, but not before his ability to reason had shut down.  

And now here _she_ was, in the last place she should be, clean and pure and delicious and  _his._  He could smell the blood in her veins, her skin scent, her perfume, the sweetly musky smell of her womanhood.  It inflamed him, sending his hormones raging into a carnal frenzy that blinded what was left of his self control.  

It was all gone now, Adam was gone.  Only the vampire was left.

_How could you, Adam?_

 

She sat on the edge of the bed with her arms wrapped around herself.  She was cold, _so cold,_ so cold that it hurt.  Her body shivered uncontrollably and Adam tried to comfort her, but she warned him away, her fangs coming down involuntarily in her sudden anger.

_Don't touch me.  Never touch me again._

 

"Why were you here?  You didn't come...for _two days_ you haven't come to me.  Why did you come tonight?"  He closed his eyes, trying to remember what she'd said. _I have something wonderful to tell you..._

Her arms were around her stomach, holding tightly, her knuckles white on her hipbones.  She was rocking herself.  A quiet groan started low in her throat, seeming to rise through her body until it ripped from her vocal cords in a broken sob that chilled Adam through to his soul.  But he couldn't touch her, she wouldn't allow him.  

He could never touch her again.

"I didn't come the first night because I was sick, I was too sick to come.  I didn't want you to get sick from me, I thought I had the flu.  I went to the doctor.  I stayed away the second night because I knew I couldn't let you feed from me anymore..."  She raised her face to look at him, finally, her face streaked with tears, her lip quivering.  "Not without hurting the baby."

Adam sat down, harder than he intended, the depth of what he'd done seeping slowly into his realization.

_"Fuck...no..."_

He looked at her.  She was crying quietly, still rocking herself like a frightened child, her hands over her ears the only protection she had against him.  She didn't want to hear anything he had to say.

"Selina - "

"No."

"Please...I'm...I'm so..."

"You didn't know."  She cut him off, refusing to let him say he was sorry, hot bitter tears falling onto her bare arms.  "You didn't know.  You couldn't have known."

They sat in a tortured silence for a long time, neither speaking, the only sounds in the room her painful choking sobs and his labored breathing as he fought back his own fierce emotions.  The crumpled, bloodstained photo was on the floor between them, but neither of them made any move to pick it up.

 _Selina's baby._  Adam closed his eyes and tried to will it all away, to make it never have happened, but if there was one thing he'd learned in all his many centuries of existence, it was that once something was done, it could never be undone.

 

When she finally spoke again, her voice was no longer weak and anguished.  "Teach me what I need to know to survive," she said, resolute, defiant, her head raising in a newfound determination even though her eyes never deigned to meet his.  "And then let me go."

He tried to keep his grief from showing, but knew he could never hope for more than failure.  He nodded, staring at his feet to spare her the unshed tears that stung his eyes.

 

_She laughed behind her hand, a girlish giggle that made Adam feel happy.  He had plucked out the opening notes and she recognized them instantly, rewarding him with her delighted squeals._

_"I love that song," she smiled, pulling his old velvet dressing gown around herself.  It was worn and faded and frayed at every edge, but she loved to wrap herself in it when she was there.  It smelled like Adam._

_"Orbison was a god."_

_"Yes, but Roth's guitar is better."_

_"Ooh, blasphemy!"  He strummed a high note and hit the sustain, making it scream, holding the Stratocaster close to Selina's head so that she was forced to slap her hands over her ears.  "Take that back, you uncultured moshpit rat."_

_"Nope."_

_"Okay, you want David Lee Roth's version?  I can do that."_

_He tapped the foot pedal, changing the guitar's sound till it suited him.  A happy smile came to his lover's face as he played out the tune, growling the words in a deep raspy voice, laughing as she danced around him._

_He felt good._

_He felt satisfied._

_Contentment had finally found his restless soul._

 

"We had some good times, didn't we baby."

Adam was on the roof of his house, laying on the ragged weatherbeaten shingles staring up at the stars.  This far from the city's center, the smog was light enough that he could see them, their shiny little pinpoints of brilliant light reminding him that everything ends.  The sparkling spots in the black velvet expanse were gone, had been gone for thousands of years, some longer than that.  Yet he could still see their light.

"I miss playing music for you.  You loved it so much.  No matter what I played, if it was Schubert or Presley or Reznor, you didn't care.  You loved it all."  He lifted his hand, tossed the glass he'd been holding off the roof to the ground below, listening with satisfaction as it shattered three stories down.  "You were such a sweet girl.  I'm sorry I took that away from you."

_What makes you think I'm not still sweet?_

He laughed, but it was a humorless sound, full of bitterness and anger.  "Because you're not in my bed.  You're not excited about my music anymore, you're not walking with me in the dark, you're not dancing with me at the nightclub to that godawful cover band that _still_ plays there." He sat up, letting his booted feet dangle off the edge of the roof, over nothing.  "You're not with me where I need you to be.  Where I _want_ you to be."

_What about what I want?  What I need?_

"Tell me what those things are and I'll give them to you."

_You are giving them to me._

He didn't understand, but he didn't feel like talking any more, not to a phantom voice inside his head, whispered on the wind.  The scent of vanilla and tobacco filled his nostrils and he tried to rub it away angrily as he climbed back in the attic window, returning to his silent instruments, wishing he would find her sitting curled up on his old sofa waiting for him to play something for her.

 

"Come here, dinner."

Adam winced, ashamed that he had ever called her that.  But it had been the nature of their relationship to make light of the details;  a young mortal female and an old immortal male, brought together out of a need for both of them to do that most basic of human functions - to eat.

He knew she needed money, he'd been watching her for weeks, observing with a morbid interest as the girl's intentions became clear.  She was barely old enough to be in the bar, if she was old enough at all...but he didn't want to call her out - he wanted, surprisingly, to help her.  He'd never cared much what the zombies got up to in their self destructive quest to wipe themselves and every other life form off the planet, but this one lone female had somehow caught his empathy.  If he didn't do something, she would eventually work up her courage enough to do what she had to do, and that would be a tragic thing indeed...something so pure and perfect should be nurtured and cared for, not sold as a commodity. She was just trying to survive with her only asset, herself.  But he could sense the fear that kept her from committing to her decision, night after night.

He felt pity for her at first.  So pretty, so young, so obviously innocent and untouched.  This was no place for her.  Here, among the wretched, the depraved, the drug dealers and the unscrupulous record execs and the ogres who trolled the underbelly of music society.  It was only a matter of time before one of them got hold of her, and she would be lost.  But she hadn't worked up enough bravery yet to do it.  Adam watched her every night, wondering if this would be the night that she closed her eyes and fell in.  And every night he saw her change her mind and leave, hurrying out the door to walk home in the dark, alone.

He took to following her.  More than once he bared his fangs to someone from the shadows, scaring them off the path of the innocent, protecting her without ever letting her see him.  He didn't want to scare her, and once she was safely home he would wait, ensuring that she locked her door, finally leaving once he knew she was secure.  Until the night his instincts told him it was time to say hello.  The night she finally made up her mind, her heart obviously broken but her smile brave, though her eyes betrayed the lie.  She had set her gaze on a man in the back, a man that had looked at her hungrily so many times.  Adam had seen him staring at her, and fought back his urge to follow the man outside and rip his throat out in the shadows.

_"You don't want to do that."_

The girl looked at him, confused, her concentration and determination thrown by the sudden appearance of the dark haired man by her side. He towered over her and she stepped away quickly, but something in his face made her step back again, close to him, into the safe proximity of his shadow.  His eyes weren't on her; they were darting over the crowd, observing everyone but falling back upon the man she had chosen, glaring into him with a look of pure hatred through a face that was startlingly expressionless.

"He'll eat you alive.  You shouldn't go near him."

She wanted to ask _Why do you care?_ but instead followed his eyes to the man at the far wall.  She had decided he would be the one.  Everything in her screamed against it, but she had finally faced the fact that tonight was the night.  She would suck in her breath and just do it, shutting herself away, leaving nothing but an empty functioning body to do what was necessary while her soul stayed safely locked in the comforting recesses of some happy place, far away.  

But now there was _this_ \- a strange, very tall, pale skinned man with unkempt hair, standing protectively at her side, disapproving of her choice.

"So have you chosen someone else for me?"

He looked down at her without turning his head and she saw through the hazy, smoke-filled light that his eyes were blue.  Kind eyes.  Not the hungry, lascivious, hard eyes that roamed over her every night as she crossed the room, willing herself to choose someone, anyone.  Kind, warm, caring eyes.  But the rest of his face was passive and expressionless, carved of cool marble.

"Yes.  Me."

 

She left with him, choking back tears when she realized that she was actually going to go through with it.   _Mom would be so proud of you, Selina._ She was scared, of him and of the situation, but mostly of the fact that it had come to _this._

He never touched her as he opened his car door for her, drove her across town to a nice restaurant, escorted her inside.  He told her to order anything she wanted.  But he didn't eat anything himself.

And when he took her home, to a dilapidated old house that looked abandoned from the outside, she willingly followed him in.

But still, he didn't touch her.

Instead, he invited her to make herself comfortable, as comfortable as she could on the worn old sofa, pushing aside a jumble of cables and musical equipment that seemed to fill every inch of the messy sitting room to make a place for her.  And when she was settled, he stood before her, looking down at her in silence.

Her stomach felt queasy as she waited for him to tell her what he wanted.  His hand came up, but not to open his pants, like she expected...instead, he pushed it into his pocket and pulled out a wad of money.

"Take this."

Holding it out to her, waiting for her to take it, his face completely passive with the exception of his eyes.  Warm, kind eyes, looking down at her without demanding anything.  Not judging her, not raking over her body rudely, not showing anything but kindness.  There was nothing lustful in his stare.

"How do I earn it?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper, shaking with cold fear and hot shame, but becoming oddly calm in response to his perfect stillness.

Adam reached down and took her hand, pushing the money into her palm before he turned and crossed the room, stepping over an amplifier to scoot a chair closer.  He sat, leaning forward, watching her intently as she stared at the big wad of cash.  The bills were hundreds.  She looked up at him, questioning.

"I have a business proposition for you," was all he said.

 

The first time he fed from her, there were no tears.  She knew what he was going to do, she understood her purpose in their arrangement.  She was to be his food source, and in return he would take care of her, paying her and protecting her.  She would spend her nights with him when he wanted her company, or feed him and leave when he wanted to be alone.  There was no sex in their arrangement, only the provision for both of them to have what they needed to survive.  Something she had, a commodity he was willing to pay for.

"Don't be afraid," he told her, his voice quiet and calming.  "There will be pain, but it won't be bad."  He curled his lips back, showing her his fangs, urging her to touch them.  "See?  They're very sharp.  And your skin is soft - they'll pierce you easily."

She touched him, the first time she had ever put her hands on him.  She'd been to his house several times to hear him play music and he had always kept his distance from her physically, letting her get used to him, to his home, to wrap her head around the reality of what she had agreed to do.  But now, brushing her fingertip across his upper lip as she touched his sharp teeth, she felt a shiver run through her body, chilling her.  His skin was pleasantly cool to the touch.

"Will it be quick?" she asked, sliding her finger across to his other fang, nicking her fingertip on the needle sharp tip.  He shook his head.

"No."

She thought about this for a moment, her eyes fixed on his mouth.  After a while, she nodded.

"Okay."

 

 

_To be continued..._


	7. Fed

 

 

_He bit her as gently as he could, pricking her skin to help her get used to the idea of the coming pain before he sank his teeth in, holding himself back from biting too deeply, not wanting to traumatize her on her first time.  Her body tensed and he felt her suck in her breath, her back arching upward just slightly, but he stroked soothingly behind her ear with his fingers to calm her and she immediately relaxed again._

_When he withdrew his fangs from her flesh he spoke to her, quietly, praising her with approval, his words comforting and tender.  And then he pressed his mouth to the wound and began sucking, groaning softly against her skin as her warm, salty, deliciously pure blood filled his mouth and slid warmly down his throat._

 

"Adam, my love, you need to get laid."

He would have laughed, had he not felt so tired and displeased with the world in general and his wife in particular.  "No, I really don't.  I'm no good for anyone right now, it wouldn't end well."

"It doesn't have to end well, so long as it _ends._  If you catch my meaning."

"Eve, don't be crass.  It doesn't suit you."  He rubbed his eyes, wishing morning would come so that he could fall back into bed and sleep again.  It seemed to be all he did these days.  "Of course, you could always talk me through a solo session.  Or better yet, catch the red eye and come take care of me yourself."

"Ah ah ah, my darling brooding baby.  You're no good for anyone right now, remember?  Why would I subject myself to your nonsense."  She grinned and leaned in close to her phone, kissing the screen.  "That's as close as you're going to get to phone sex with me I'm afraid."

After a long pause, Adam staring at the floor and Eve staring at Adam, their silence weighing heavy between them over the thousands of miles that separated them, Eve finally spoke the name of her husband's heartache.

"Is Selina still talking to you?"

He nodded, eyes clenched shut against the pain of hearing her name.  Would it ever stop hurting?

"I don't know anymore if she's real or not, Eve.  Sometimes she seems almost tangible.  Other times it's like she's just in my head.  I don't know...maybe I'm just going crazy."  He looked up, his eyes suddenly pleading.  "We do that, don't we?  We go mad, from the years and the loneliness and the _unnaturalness_ of it all."

"Some do, yes.  But you won't, my darling.  Because you have me."  She stared at him lovingly, waiting for him to give her that tiny, almost shy, barely perceptible grin that was so undeniably, so unmistakably her Adam.

It didn't come.

 

_He had already explained the details to her.  A single bite, in the place of her choosing, though the first time would be her neck - he wanted to start her out with the worst of it, the most uncomfortable spot, so that it would never be worse than that.  If she could get through the shock and pain and discomfort of a bite to the neck, the rest would be easy._

_It would be a piercing pain, followed by a sharp ache that gradually dulled as the punctures became desensitized by her body's release of adrenaline and endorphines.  Her brain would look out for her, dosing her with natural drugs meant to help ease her suffering.  And then the relaxing, drowsy sensation of falling and floating all at once as her life force, her blood, drained from her body.  She would begin to feel cold, but she wouldn't care.  It would be up to Adam to care for her._

_She would feel pressure as he sucked.  It wouldn't be unpleasant so long as he remained carefully in control.  And he would only drink from her until her pulse began to slow, indicating that her body was adjusting to a drastic decrease in blood volume.  Once she reached this stage, he could kill her by simply continuing to drink a few seconds longer._

_She would have to trust him completely, her life literally in his hands._

 

"Selina I've had enough of this bullshit, come out  _now."_

Nothing answered him but the buzzing hum of his amp, picking up feedback from the guitar he had carelessly dropped in front of it.  He always handled his instruments the way he handled his women, with a tender touch and exquisite care, but he'd felt her touch him and this time it was too much to bear.  He slammed the guitar down and stalked to the doorway into the hall, where he'd seen a glimpse of shadow out of the corner of his eye.

"Stop fucking playing with me!"

A breeze tickled his cheek, ruffling his hair just enough for him to feel it, as if someone had rushed past him, close enough to disturb the air around him but not close enough to touch him.

_Stop growling._

"Stop playing."

_But you always loved that about me, Adam.  That I liked to play.  I made you playful and you liked it._  

"Stop it, Selina."

_You loved me Adam...we were happy, weren't we?  Until you ripped my throat out and licked my blood off the floor._

"Selina, I...please, please baby, come here."  He closed his eyes and held his arms open, willing her to come to him.  His voice dropped to an anguished whisper.   _"Please."_

He was still standing there, his arms empty, when the sun began to rise.

 

When he awoke that night, she was lying next to him, her head on his shoulder and her leg over his stomach, the way she had always slept.  He knew she wasn't really there but the smell of her perfume was strong enough to let him know she had been, somewhere, at some point during his sleep.  He rubbed his nose and tried to roll over onto his side, but a weight on his shoulder stopped him.

_What?_

He opened his eyes slowly, expecting to see nothing, but the first thing that came into his view was flame red hair, black at the tips.   _Fire and smoke,_ he had always called her.   _Blinds you and burns you and takes your breath away._  It tickled his chin, a long tousled strand laying strewn across his face.  He brushed it away, tugging at it gently.

There was a quiet moan, a low rumbling sensation on the bare skin of his shoulder.

_Fucking hell...Selina, what are you doing..._

He lay perfectly still as she stirred into wakefulness, pulling away from him to sit up, rubbing at her eyes.  He watched as she lowered her legs over the side of the bed and sat there, her head down, yawning.

He reached up and touched the back of her shoulder.  Cool, soft, real.  He spread his palm across her back and sat up behind her, nuzzling his mouth into the back of her neck, pushing her hair to the side in search of her pulsepoint.  The urge to taste her was overpowering and he let his teeth come down, the sharp tips poking into his lower lip as he moved up against her.

_Selina...baby...are you really here?_

She turned her head and Adam pulled back, horrified.  Her face was covered in blood that was gushing from her throat, running down over her bare breasts, pooling in her lap.  He released her quickly, gasping in shock.

_You can't look at me this way?_

_You know I can't.  Stop it.  Let me see the real you._

_How do you know this isn't the real me?  What makes you think I was able to heal myself?_

_Because I turned you.  You have the same abilities I have._

_You hope._

 

"She's so cute, Adam.  I adore her.  Can we keep her?"

Adam rolled his eyes, otherwise ignoring his wife's silly attempt at conversation.

"She's not a pet, Eve."

"No, of course not...but I do like her.  When are you going to bring her to our bed?"

"Eve, stop."

"I mean it darling!  Have you had sex with her yet?"

"We have a business arrangement.  We don't have sex."

"Well maybe it's time you did."  Her tone switched from chiding to encouraging.  "Oh Adam you can't fool me my love, I know you so well...you crave her, it's all in that puppydog look you get every time you mention her.  You want her!  So _take_ her."

"It's not as simple as that."

"What?  You don't think she wants you?  She comes to you every night, doesn't she?"

"To feed me, yes.  But that's all."

Eve shrugged, giving up - for now.  She knew her husband far better than he knew himself, and she knew that look of suppressed hunger in his eyes.  It wasn't a longing for blood.  It was a longing for flesh.

 

_"I have a condition," he said, only partly lying.  "I require...fresh blood.  To live."_

_She didn't get up to leave, she didn't even flinch.  She might have been afraid to go home with any of the other men from the bar, but she didn't seem the least bit afraid of what this one was telling her.  In fact, there wasn't the slightest bit of fear in either her face or her voice as she stared straight at him and asked,_

_"Are you a vampire?"_

_It was Adam's turn not to flinch.  He simply nodded, holding her gaze._

_After a long while, she nodded in return._

_"Of course you are."_

 

He knew she was clean just from his observation of her - she never drank, never appeared to be under the influence of anything illicit, the smoky atmosphere of the bar made her choke up so he knew she didn't smoke. Her apprehension and just the simple fact that she had never worked up enough courage to approach any of the men made him feel certain that she wasn't overly sexually experienced.  She was young and hadn't had time yet to sully her blood with bad habits.  She was perfect.

"Remember to lie still," he reminded her as he settled in beside her, adjusting the pillows behind her head.  "Are you comfortable?"

"I'm fine."  No nervousness in her voice. _Interesting._

His hands came gently to her throat, holding her still, his body touching her only by necessity as the closeness of their position dictated.  He'd taken her to his bed so she would be comfortable;  she would need to rest, probably even sleep for a while, once he was done feeding.  He'd stocked the refrigerator with juice and foods that would help build her iron back up quickly, but before she could eat, she would need to lie still and recover.

And now here he was, his lips gently sucking at her throat, not biting her yet, just letting her get used to being touched by him this way.  It was strangely intimate but he felt no arousal; to keep himself from being too eager, he had fed before her arrival from his hospital supply.  This was more about breaking her in than filling his belly.

"Try not to jump when I bite you.  If you move suddenly, my teeth can tear your skin."

She nodded, just barely moving her head, just enough to let him know she understood.  His soft lips on her neck were relaxing her and she closed her eyes, trusting him, putting herself completely at his mercy.

 

 

_To be continued..._

 

 


	8. Before

 

 

His nostrils twitched, catching her womanly scent as she uncrossed her legs; the urge to fuck her was overpowering and he willed himself to hold back.  This wasn't the time.  Her books were scattered about in front of her, volumes on history and societal studies, open to pages that caught Adam's interest as he glanced over them.  Things he'd witnessed firsthand.  People he'd known, shared time with.  Situations he'd influenced, either directly or indirectly.  The girl had gone back to school to work on the degree she'd abandoned in favor of surviving, but now, with the money Adam paid her to help _him_ survive, she'd been able to pick it up again.  He took a quiet bit of pride in knowing he was playing a part in her bettering of herself.

But the raw, primal scent of her, mingled with the old paper and new binding of the books between them, was seriously screwing with his concentration.

She looked at him, understanding his need for her but misunderstanding which part of his body it was that currently needed her the most.  "Are you hungry?" she asked, her eyes searching his face as she leaned back in her chair, tucking her pencil behind one delicate, sweetly formed ear.  An ear Adam longed to nibble, sucking the tender lobe, breathing his warm, quickening breath into the intricate turns and curves.  

_Get a hold of yourself.  She's here to feed your belly, not your carnal lust._

"I am."

Her hands went to her blouse, unbuttoning it quickly, slipping it off her shoulders.  She always undressed to the waist to service him, leaving only her bra or camisole on to avoid the inevitable blood stains on her clothing. Adam was always careful with her but the odd drip from time to time was unavoidable, especially if he was particularly hungry.  Seeing her in her underthings always affected him in varying degrees, from simple appreciation of her beauty to barely repressible desire, but he very purposefully maintained his gentlemanly demeanor with her regardless of how deeply he was affected.

He often found himself involuntarily releasing at the apex of feeding from her - a natural reaction to the euphoric sensation-causing chemicals his brain secreted in response to the natural chemicals in her blood. She never questioned it, though he felt sure she realized what was happening.  He cleaned up while she rested, and it was never mentioned between them.  But now, looking at her as she removed her shirt, unable to pull his eyes away from the softly swelling curve of her breast as her chest rose and fell with her breathing, he was unsure he would be able to refrain from touching her...pressing against her a little more closely than he normally did, suckling at her throat a bit more sensually, rubbing against her more purposefully as they lay together on his bed...

 _Fuck._  He didn't want the accidental release of the feeding euphoria.  He wanted the purposeful release of pushing into her until both their desires were sated, the joining of their bodies in some way other than his teeth in her neck.  But she had only ever interacted with him in a professional manner, business associates carrying out their assigned duties.  And though they had become friends in the midst of their arrangement, there was nothing sexual between them.

His feelings were unwelcome, if not with her, most definitely with himself.

 _This will pass,_ he thought to himself as she stood and took his hand, leading him toward the stairs that went to his bedroom.   _Don't do anything that will make her hate you._

"Adam," she said quietly as they paused outside the bedroom door.  "Do you think..."  She tipped her face up to him, her eyes soft, warm, inviting.  "Do you think you might ever kiss me?"

He looked at her, his face passive as his eyes dropped to her mouth, a small nod as he whispered, _"Yes."_

 

The power had gone off, leaving them sitting in the dark as Adam cursed.  Selina could hear him moving around in the sudden blackness, amazingly not bumping into anything in the crowded, cluttered mess that was his sitting room.  Eve sighed and reached over to rest her hand on the girl's arm.

"He'll have it back up in a moment.  Have you seen how he has this place hooked up?  It's amazing - he was friends with Nikola Tesla, this house is a testimony to the man's genius."  Adam cursed again in the dark and Eve snickered.  "Unfortunately they shared the same absentminded tendency to misplace their things.   _It's in the bureau, darling."_

A sudden light in the darkness, illuminating Adam's eyes as it blinded the two women.  He smiled, the headlamp bobbing as he turned and headed for the stairs.  Eve stood and pulled Selina up off the sofa. "Come on, you'll want to see this."

Adam was already on his stomach in the grass when they entered the small back yard, his arms extended into a large drophole where a tangle of decidedly alien looking equipment was sparking and moaning, trying to come back to life.  There was a sudden _pop_ and a shower of sparks, a whirring sound as the power revved and then died;  Adam cursed and whacked something with his wrench, causing a loud boom as the entire machine lurched back into action.  He jumped, covering his head with both arms as Eve burst into laughter.

"It's not funny Eve," he growled, getting to his feet and shoving the wrench into the back pocket of his jeans as he closed the hatch and secured it.

"Oh yes it is."  She looked at Selina, saw the girl's questioning look.  "Adam was in London during the Blitz, loud noises make him a bit... _jumpy."_  She broke into a fresh spasm of laughter trying to quiet herself behind her hand as Adam glared at her.

"It wasn't funny."

"It  _was_  funny darling, I mean what are the odds?"

Adam appeared to be thinking about something for a moment, then nodded, just slightly.  "Okay, yeah, I suppose it was a little bit funny."

Eve leaned toward Selina, her voice breaking with amusement.  "Adam was blown up twice."

"Fucking bombs followed me all over the damn city."

Eve dissolved into laughter again.  "It was very funny."

"It wasn't funny trying to put myself back together."

"No, I suppose that wasn't quite as amusing as the people trying to get away from you every time you went into a shelter.  He would walk in and they would all run out.  It was like a Keystone Cops movie."  She patted him on the back as he slunk sullenly past her to the house.  "He finally ended up just standing in the street with his arms out, screaming at the bombers as they flew over, daring them to hit him again."

"I had to hide out in Albania after that," Adam grumbled as he removed his headlamp and yanked on the door;  it was warped with age and disrepair and finally gave way once he'd given it a good kick.  "They thought I was a warlock."

The three of them went back into the house, the two ancient vampires reliving their memories in a playfully antagonist banter, Selina watching them, observing quietly.  It was obvious they had been together for a very long time;  their body language with each other was more shorthand than details.  They moved around one another as if they were air and water, with the fluid grace of two twinned halves inhabiting the same space without overlapping.  Eve, with her fiercely ethereal features and shocking white tresses, tangled and twisted almost into dreadlocks, Adam with his youthful angelic face and shaggy raven black hair falling over one eye.  They were the black King and white Queen on a chessboard, without anyone playing to pit them against one another, just existing on opposite sides of the board.

She wondered what piece she was, and which square she was meant to inhabit.  Somewhere beside the King...or in one of the many open spaces between him and his Queen...?

 

_He was panting, his eyes shifting from blue to opaque green and back, quickly, unpredictably.  He was keeping his fangs from coming down but it was a struggle that he was quickly losing._

_"Get away from me Selina.  Get out, now."_

_"Why?  What's wrong Adam?"_

_"Get out!"_

_She obeyed, leaving the room but not the house.  Through the closed door she heard sounds that made her stomach lurch;  Adam, snarling...panting and yelling, cursing in a fierce growl...tearing the room apart. She didn't dare try to go to him.  She recognized the sounds.  He was in the bloodlust and he was beyond help._

_He was hurting, unable to help himself, his hunger overtaking his capacity for rational thought.  She had come to feed him but he sent her away.  Why?_

_Through the closed door, over the sounds of furniture breaking against walls, she heard him scream her name._

_It unnerved her, handling the blood he kept stored in the refrigerator.  It was unnaturally dark, almost black as she uncapped the bottle with shaking hands.  The voice hadn't sounded like Adam, but he had somehow found the presence of mind to tell her what to do.  In the fridge.  The bottle.  Now.  Open the door just enough to set it inside and then get away._

_She did as she was told, sitting with her back against the door once she'd completed her task.  Listening as Adam grabbed the bottle and drank, covering her ears as his curses and snarls faded and turned into gasping moans, as if a great pain was easing._

_It was a long time later that she awoke, being lifted by strong arms and carried.  Adam.  He was wet, his hair dripping, his body wrapped in the old robe he favored so much.  The clothes he'd been wearing were gone._

_Adam...?_

_Shhh...it's alright now._

_What happened?_

_Sleep, baby._

_When night came he woke her, pulling her against his body to cuddle her.  She didn't ask what had happened...she'd figured it out on her own.  She'd forgotten until she went into the bathroom - she was bleeding, and Adam had smelled her.  The strong scent of blood not encased under flesh or inside a vein had taken him off guard and he'd lost control.  It was her own fault, she'd done this to him with her carelessness._

_"I'm sorry, Adam.  I didn't think about it."_

_He didn't say anything, just held her, his face buried in her hair._

 

Two months.  It was a mere pittance of time to the vampire when looked at through the eyes of immortality, but in terms of living through it, it felt like forever.  Forever that Selina had been tormenting him, playing with his head and his heart, punishing him in all the ways he couldn't punish himself.  He'd grown accustomed to waking up and smelling her perfume before he even opened his eyes, pulled drowsily into wakefulness by the rich vanilla and heady pipe tobacco scent.  It often aroused him into more than just wakefulness, and more than once he heard her whispering to him as he relieved himself, stroking himself into climax with her soft, sweet voice in his ear.  He lost track of how many times it was her and how many times it was just his imagination...wishful thinking, coupled with the simple fact that he missed her.

They had conversations sometimes, though he was hard pressed to determine whether it was actually her he was chatting with.  It could have been his own fractured mind for all he knew.  But eventually he began to realize a heartening trend in her participation...she was no longer forcing him to relive his mistake.  Their discourses leaned toward science, history, the things they had spent their nights discussing when she was still with him.  He could almost smell the books, the huge texts she'd always carried with her so she could do her homework while he composed music.  He suspected these particular conversations were figments of his own imagination, subconscious manifestations of his desire for things to be the way they once were.  Before he'd destroyed it all.  Before he'd destroyed her.   _Before._

Until the night he woke up, stumbling half blindly down the stairs to the foyer to get one of his guitars from the spare room, and stumbled over something in the dark hallway.

A book.

A history text, bookmarked to a chapter on Tesla.

Bookmarked with the photo of Selina's baby.

He didn't even have to turn around to know she was behind him.

_"Hello, Adam."_

 

 

_To be continued..._

 


	9. Unnatural

 

 

 

_"You wrote Sugar for Maroon 5?"_

_"Yes.  But it was darker...they didn't record it exactly the way I wrote it, but it's close enough I suppose."_

_"Sugar was dark?"  She laughed, amused disbelief bubbling in the little sound.  "But it's so peppy and happy."_

_"Yeah, like I said...they didn't record it the way I wrote it."_

_The girl clasped her hands over her mouth, hiding her excited smile.  If Adam had been in a better mood, he would have found her joy in learning about his music industry ties adorable;  but he had other things on his mind, and her chatter and questioning was distracting him.  "That's so cool.  Anything else?"_

_"Hm?"_

_"What else have you written that I've heard?"_

_"That you've heard...well, I wrote Ex's and Oh's for - "_

_"Elle King?  Are you serious?"_

_"No, I wrote it for Amy Winehouse.  The studio gave it to Elle King when she died."_

_"Really?!  You knew Amy Winehouse?!"_

_"Yeah."  He got a sad, faraway look in his eyes.  "Fucking tragedy.  She was brilliant."_

_The girl's face fell.  "She would have done your song so beautifully.  Even if you wrote it darker."_

_He nodded, walking away, leaving Selina to catch up._

_"It must be hard, knowing so many people, getting attached to them and then outliving them all."_

_His jaw clenched and he looked past her, staring off into the dark with narrowed eyes.  "You have no idea."_

 

"Hello, Adam."

He didn't turn around.  So many things kept him from it...the fear that she wouldn't be there, that she would either be a ghost in his head or simply vanish before he could lay eyes on her...the sneaking suspicion that he'd finally lost his mind, snapping and breaking from the neverending heartache of what he'd done to her...the possibility that she was truly there but was toying with him, once again.

"Baby...just don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't do this to me."  His voice was a whisper, but it echoed through the narrow hallway as if he were in a cavern.  "I can't take it anymore."

A hand on his shoulder, a touch light as air but cool like moonlight.

"What can't you take?  Seeing me?"  The touch grew firmer, more real.  "Feeling me?  Tell me Adam, what is it you can't handle about me?"

He was trembling now, trying not to recoil from her, from her hand on his skin or her voice in his ears, realizing, slowly, that she was no wraith of his fevered mind.  She was real.

"I can't take knowing you exist, out there, somewhere, carrying the memory and the marks of what I did to you."

"You mean this?"  The hand left his shoulder, reached down to take his hand, pulled it up.  Adam's eyes were tightly closed but he knew he was touching her throat;  the memory of her soft skin, the supple lines of her neck, were etched into his mind for eternity.  But his fingers shook violently as she pressed them to her flesh...he expected at any moment to feel torn skin, mutilated muscle and sinew, wet spilled blood. He braced himself, ready for it.  But his fingertips touched only smooth, undamaged softness, with a strongly throbbing pulse.  

"I healed, Adam.  I think maybe it's time you did, too."

 

He didn't open his eyes until he'd heard her leave.  It was easier this way...let her go again, pretend she was never there to begin with.  The torment wouldn't end, there was no reason for it to - he'd been a fool to ever ask for forgiveness.  How could it be granted, even if she were willing to grant it?  He could never forgive himself, so what good would it serve but to remind him, again, of his sins.

 

All night he stepped around her, trying not to look at her, suspecting strongly that she was, once again, a figment of his damaged mind.  He heard her laughing at him, so he put on his headphones and turned his amp to ten.  He felt her sitting next to him on the sofa, so he moved to the chair at his mixing desk.  Her scent was overpowering but there was little he could do about that...just tune it out, not let it affect him, and keep his mind on what he was doing as best he could.  But nothing made her go away this time.

"How long are you going to ignore me, Adam?"

"Until you go back to wherever you always go...my imagination, the ether, whatever."

"And if I don't?"

"You will."

She moved across the room, looking around, her eyes finally falling on the ancient violin that lay silent on the desk.  "Is that the 1715 Stradivarius?" she asked, picking it up delicately.

Adam's eyes flitted across her briefly.  "Yes."

She held it gently for a moment, then raised it above her head.  In a flash of motion no longer in duration than a blink, Adam was on her, yanking the prized instrument out of her hands and cradling it against his chest.  "Don't fucking do that," he snarled, turning away quickly to put it safely out of her reach.  "I don't know what you're trying to prove Selina."

"I'm trying to prove that I'm here."

"You're not here."

"Then how did I do this?"

He looked at her in confusion.  "Do wha - ?"

Before he could finish his word she reached out and slapped him.  It stung, and Adam felt the blow full force across his cheek.  It felt real enough.

"Do you believe I'm here now?"

He shook his head, eyes closed, jaw clenched against the sting in his face.  "No."

She sighed.  "Very well then.  You're sleeping on the sofa.  And don't even think about coming into the bedroom - I'd hate for you to find yourself crowded by my nonexistence."

 

_Adam lowered his dark glasses just long enough for the man to see his eyes, the eerily glowing green irises enough of an unspoken threat to get him to back off.  One gloved hand was tight around Selina's wrist and the other was against Eve's hip, pushing her back, putting himself firmly between his two women and the man who had tried, unsuccessfully, to flirt with them._

_"Adam, he's gone darling, you can let go of us now," Eve said gently when the man had retreated far enough into the crowd to disappear from sight.  Without turning, Adam released his grip on Selina's wrist and started after him._

_"Stay here," he growled, slipping into the shadows of the adjoining alley.  The dancing, noisy, mostly drunken crowd went on about its business, not noticing the vampire moving among them._

_"He's a jealous thing, isn't he?"  Selina watched him go, knowing he was tracking the man who had dared to tell her she had a nice ass._

_"He can't help it, he's a Montague."_

_Her head came around in surprise, delight edging quickly across her lips.  "The Shakespeare Montagues?  Nemesis of the Capulets, those Montagues?"_

_Eve nodded with a grin, pleased that the girl had recognized Adam's famous name.  "Those would be they.  And Shakespeare never wrote that, it was a chap by the name of Marlowe."_

_"Wow...was he Romeo's cousin or something?  He wasn't - him - was he?"_

_"Oh he predates that insouciant little upstart by a couple of centuries, it's a very old family.  So far as I know, Adam never had any natural offspring, so they would be related through another family member...I think maybe he was his great great great-times-twelve uncle or something...but intense jealousy and impulsive behavior do seem to run in the family."_

_Selina cocked her head, curious at Eve's choice of words.  "Natural offspring?"_

_"By birth."_

_"Is there...an unnatural kind...?"_

_The vampire squeezed her hand, her eyes scanning the crowd, watching for her mate.  "Anyone he's turned.  He has a few blood children."  She smiled suddenly, catching a glimpse of him in the shadows.  "We all do, sooner or later."_

 

He slept on the sofa as he was told, although he had two other perfectly good bedrooms that he would have been immeasurably more comfortable in.  It was time for his sleep cycle, but sleep stubbornly evaded him;  he felt himself winding down but unable to shut off his mind enough to lose consciousness.  Was she really sleeping in his bed?  Or was this another trick of hers, fucking with his head, laughing at him from thousands of miles away as she watched him trying fruitlessly to get comfortable on a sofa that wasn't long enough for his body, his head resting awkwardly on a box of reel to reel tapes, while his perfectly comfortable bed went empty and unused?

He waited as long as he could before the need to know became overwhelming.

He found himself at the door to his bedroom, opening it silently, leaning inward just enough to look inside.  Someone was most definitely there.  Someone naked under the black satin, the sheet lying loosely over their body, clinging to a curved hip, a rounded breast, draped low to reveal a smooth shoulder and slim, pale white arm.  A leg, as pale and slender as the arm, poking out at the foot of the bed. A tiny, perfectly formed foot, bare and curled downward, like a child ballerina.

He recognized all these bits of her.

_Selina._

 

When he finally let himself look at her face, the peaceful visage of sleep etched so gently across it, the urge to slip into bed beside her was suddenly so strong that he was three steps into the room before realizing it.  Three steps closer to her, hearing her breathe, seeing her chest rise and fall softly.  Three steps, and he stopped.  He was three steps closer to her than he had any right to be.

No.  She would never allow him into bed with her.   _Never touch me again._ The admonition had never been anything but clear.

He turned on silent feet and left.

 

Sleep was agonizingly long in coming, and Adam lay staring at the cracked and waterstained ceiling above the sofa, his mind straying into territory it had no business visiting.  Selina was like him now, a full blooded vampire.  She would need to feed when she awoke.  Would she let him feed her, as she had once fed him?  He knew the answer...vampires feeding from one another was almost always a sexual act, and he knew sex wasn't something that would ever transpire between them again.  But he couldn't stop his mind from wandering there, wondering what she was like now that she was immortal.  Now that her desires were perfectly honed and sharpened, like his.  She had still been mortal the last time he'd made love to her.  She had been exquisite, so willing, so eager, so incredibly open to anything he asked of her.  A perfect mortal lover.

Would she be a perfect _immortal_ lover now?

He closed his eyes, his body reacting involuntarily to his thoughts, but it wasn't wholly an unwelcome thing.  He'd been assaulted by her scent ever since her arrival, the arousal that stemmed from it, bothersome. Yet his mind refused to cooperate with his willing body, inundating him with, instead of thoughts of her silky body naked beneath his sheets, a far less convenient truth.

The truth of their last time together.

The night he'd made love to her for the last time.

But he hadn't made love to her, had he?  No...he had come at her like an animal, a wild rabid thing with just enough coherent thought to know it didn't care.  He'd hurled himself on her and brutalized her, biting her shoulder fiercely to subdue her, tearing her clothes from her body so he could get at her without hindrance.  He'd left her conscious and aware so that she suffered every moment of the assault, and when it was finished, as _he_ was finishing, he'd torn at her throat, drinking so hungrily that her body's ability to replace her lost blood could no longer keep up.  Not that she could have survived her injuries, regardless.

Only after he'd sated both his lust and his hunger had he been able to look at her with clearing eyes and realize what he had done.

Only when he saw her drawing her last agonized breath did he know what he had to do.

She was dying...

...and he couldn't let her go.

 

_The girl's books were scattered across the sofa, but she wasn't studying.  She hadn't been for some time now, Adam knew.  She was watching him with a sadness in her eyes, an emotion he was far too familiar with, a side of his nature that he disliked seeing in others even though he embraced it in himself.  Yet he couldn't bring himself to ask her what was wrong._

_The dynamic between them had shifted, though he wasn't sure when or how, really.  He was aware of his feelings for her, of how they had grown and matured into something that felt disconcertingly like...what, affection?  No, he'd felt affection for her for a long time already, this was far beyond that.  Admiration, loyalty, a compassionate attachment, friendship.  All familiar to him when he looked at her._

_What was left was love, and the vampire felt it keenly._

_But she was just a girl, with no desire to live forever._

_She raised her eyes to his and he saw them sparkle with something that looked like tears as she spoke._

_"Tonight, if you asked me, I couldn't say no."_

_His voice was barely a whisper when he responded._

_"Tonight, I couldn't ask you."_

 

 

To be continued...

 

 

 


	10. Sympatico

 

Night fell, and with it the heavy troubled veil of sleep from the vampire's mind.  He lay still, eyes tightly closed, listening to the steady thudding of his own heartbeat, unwilling to listen for anything else lest he either hear it or not.  Neither seemed any worse an option than the other.   _Was she in the house?_  If she was, was she awake yet?  He'd seen her in his bed, heard her breathing, ventured close enough to feel in his deepest senses that she was real.  Was she hungry?

An empty weakness filled his limbs and he knew he had to get up.  He needed to feed.  If she was there, she could join him.

"Selina?"

A deep and abiding silence met his voice, engulfing it, absorbing it till the single word was gone, as if he had never uttered it.   _Fuck.  She was never here._  He'd imagined her, his fevered mind forming her image once again where he wished the most to find her - in his house, in his bed, in his life.  Life, or whatever _this_ was.  He sighed heavily, his heart aching more than his stiff neck.

He swung his legs off the sofa to sit up and was met with resistance against his knees.  Eyes flying open, horrified at the realization that he'd failed to sense the presence of someone so physically close to him, he let his fangs come down and snarled, his hand darting out with blinding speed to grip the throat of the person sitting on the edge of the couch.

Red hair, black on the ends.   _Smoke and flame._  He quickly let go, but just as quickly as he'd grabbed her, she latched onto his wrist and bit him.

There was no protest in him as she sucked hungrily at his throbbing pulse.  He could feel his blood pouring into her mouth, the pressure of her lips on his skin, sucking, feeding from him.

_"Selina..."_

Her eyes opened and she looked at him, his wrist still gripped tightly in her hands, her teeth deep in his flesh.  It didn't hurt;  his endorphins had kicked in and all he felt was a sleepy bliss, coupled with a quiet excitement as he watched her.  Her eyes had shifted to a steely grey, the irises metallic and shiny around tight pinpoint pupils.   _She was just like him._  A heavy desire clouded his voice when he spoke again.

"Eat, baby."

 

_His teeth in her neck, not deep, but enough to make her bleed, licking and sucking at the tiny punctures as he pushed into her body with a heavy groan.  He would save the deepest drinking for later, when their climaxes were peaking, timing it with the euphoria that always came with a sated belly full of warm blood.  The chemicals that rushed into her system during orgasm were so intoxicating, they made him dizzy._

_"Baby, you taste so good..."_

_She moaned, arching up into him, her body open and yielding to him.  She was his, completely.  But only for as long her mortality allowed._

_He could change that, right now, before she even realized it.  He could give her eternal life.  Life with him, here in his bed, by his side, forever.  Or that was the theory, as it stood.  Eve was near four thousand years old, possibly one of the first humans to walk the earth, but even she didn't know just how long eternity would be._

_"Let me change you, Selina."_

_His voice was pleading, as it always was.  So many times he had begged her.  Yet he knew what the answer would be._

_There was no hesitation in the determined shake of her head against his shoulder._

_"No."_

_She turned her face away, exposing more of her vulnerable throat to him.  A show of trust, despite what she knew was going through his head.  A test of his worthiness, perhaps?  Or just a foolhardy challenge, daring him..._

_Adam pressed his lips to the bite and took a long pull of her blood, the intense sensation of deep, heavy, mind numbing pleasure beginning to form in the nucleus accumbens of his brain, paralleling the rising ache in his groin as her soft, pliant body strained against his.  He pushed harder, thrusting into her with abandon as the euphoria overtook him, losing himself in the blinding pleasure of emptying into her as the open vein in her neck did the same for him._

_But though she took all his come, he refrained from taking all her blood._

 

They lay together on the bed, not touching, facing one another, their eyes locked but no words falling between them.  She'd been with him for two days and nights, failing to disappear when he closed his eyes, and so he had finally accepted the truth. _She was real._  He ached to touch her, but not without her permission...a permission he feared would never come.  This was a realization he could accept, for the simple fact that she was here, with him, her soft green eyes staring into his with something far less than hatred.  Compassion, forgiveness...perhaps even the last tattered remnants of the love they'd shared.  The love he'd never stopped nurturing, even when it was driven away by his own foolish mistake.

"I'm so sorry, Selina."

She nodded, her hand coming up slowly to press against his cheek, her palm cool and soft on his skin.  He closed his eyes and savored the feel of her, expecting no more than this to ever be granted.

It was enough.

 

He played for her, a new tune he was writing.  It was sad and melancholy and she listened with her eyes closed, the way she used to, letting his music fill her and wash over her.  The little smile on her lips tugged at his heart...it was the same smile, the one he knew from long ago.  Nothing about her had changed.

He noticed as she listened that her hand drifted slowly down to her lap, her fingers spreading out across her stomach.  She had done it several times and the little motion was arousing his curiosity.  Was she remembering her baby?  She opened her eyes and caught him staring, knowing him well enough to read the meaning in his expression.  It was the scientist in him, wanting to understand.

"Sometimes I think I can feel her moving," she said quietly, her voice barely a whisper as her fingers tapped gently on her belly.  Adam's eyes widened, darting to hers, wanting to ask for more but not daring.  The reality of Selina's existence suddenly took on a devastating new aspect, one that he couldn't bear to consider.  But he knew with a sickening stab in his heart that it had to be true.

He had turned her so quickly.  Her body hadn't had time to reject the dead fetus before she became immortal.

She would carry his baby forever.

 

"Eve, she's here."

His wife's ethereal eyes stared at him in surprise from halfway across the world.

"There?  As in really there, or playing with your head again?  Because you know she has a tendency to do that, Adam."

"No, she's really here.  I've touched her.  She's real this time."  His eyes, filled with earnest pleading, fell to the floor for a moment before he looked at her again, his hand reaching out to touch her image on the television screen.  "We need you, Eve.  Please?  Can you come?"

"You need me?  Whatever on earth for?"

Mouth moving slowly, wordlessly, unable to translate his thoughts into anything that would convey his true feelings, he stared at her helplessly for a moment.

"I...I can't...I don't know what to do.  Eve, _please help me."_

 

Eve's mind was tired and her heart ached for her husband.  She knew he loved this girl...she loved her as well, they had taken her into their family, both of them wishing she could stay with them forever. _Stubborn little thing._  She had refused, no matter what either of them said in their attempts to convince her.  So many things she could do, so much she could learn, with an eternity to devote to whatever she chose...but the idea of giving up fleeting life for neverending death wasn't something the girl could reconcile in her own mind.

_You could just do it, Adam._

_No...she would never forgive me._

_She would, in time.  And she would have that time, you will have given it to her._

But he was as stubborn as Selina, and neither of them would be budged.

Yet Eve knew, deep in her soul, that she was as much to blame as Adam.  She had planted that seed in his mind.  She had urged him to do it, despite his protests.  He was always susceptible to her prompting, even if he at first refused her ideas.  She had put it into his head, and she was certain that during his moment of ultimate weakness, when he was grieving and desperately in pain and out of control, her words had filled his aching, fevered, confused mind.

_You could just do it, Adam._

 

"The baby, Eve.  She never miscarried it.  She touches her stomach like it's still alive in there...even though she knows it's not."  His eyes closed, his breath catching in his throat.  "It's heartbreaking."  

_Not only did he force immortality on her, he'd forced this emotional hell on her as well._

But Eve's face didn't share his sullen expression;  she suddenly smiled, her eyes lighting up with excitement. 

"Adam, if that child was truly half you - half vampire - oh Adam, _think!_  What does that mean?"

He was in no mood to play games, but he knew Eve would pester him until he played along.  It was easiest just to answer her hypothetical questioning until she was satisfied.  "It wasn't...completely mortal?"

"Meaning?"

"Eve - "

"Meaning what, Adam?"

A heavy sigh.  "Half immortal."

"And what do we do when we're injured, weak, in need of regeneration?"

"We sleep."

"Stasis, Adam.  We go into stasis.  And we wake up when we're well or rested or healed."  She waited a moment for her hint to sink in, but Adam's face showed no response.  "It would explain why the fetus never grew as well as why her body never rejected it.  A woman's body is programmed to hold onto a pregnancy for as long as it takes for the child to be born.  It makes sense."

Confusion clouded Adam's mind, even though Eve's theory seemed, on the surface, plausible.  "How could it have survived the attack?  I drained her completely."

"Her body would have done whatever was necessary to protect the child.  A fetus has its own blood supply from the placenta.  Adam, you drained her veins.  The fetuses blood would have kept circulating inside the uterus.  It's the perfect safe place."

His face was blank, unwilling to consider the possibility.  To have it proven wrong would be too hard to take.

"This is a new life form, Adam...half mortal, half immortal...we don't know how it works or what it could be capable of if it survived.  How far along was her pregnancy?"

"Just a few weeks.  Just far enough to be detectable."

"Too early then for her to have felt it move yet.  But a fetus that young is moving already, the mother is just unaware.  She wouldn't know if it's alive or not, based on movement.  You said it yourself darling - she thinks it's dead because she's never felt it move, plus the fact that in what - ten years now? - it hasn't been born.  She doesn't think anything else because she believes there's nothing else for her to think."  She was beyond excited now, her face animated, her eyes bright.  "Get that old stethoscope of yours and try to find a heartbeat.  It's worth a try, isn't it?"

Adam shook his head, still resisting.  "How will I explain it to her when she wakes up and I'm listening to her belly?"

"Just tell her the truth.  That maybe the baby is alive and in a regenerative stasis."

"And if there's no heartbeat?  Break her heart all over again?"

Eve gave him a look that shamed him.  She didn't need to answer.  Adam stared at her for a long time, finally giving in.  "I won't be able to detect anything with that old thing.  It's an antique, I'm not even sure if it works."

"Then sneak her into the hospital where you get your blood.  The technician there is sweet on you, right?  Offer her money for access to the ultrasound equipment from maternity.  That will tell you for certain."

He sat next to her on the bed, silent, still, not wanting to wake her, desperately wishing she would wake on her own.  In his hands he held the old stethoscope, the touchpiece pressed into his palm, warming it so that it wouldn't be cold against her skin if he decided to go through with this insanity.  He didn't even know if he wanted to do this, to risk Selina's emotional well being again, to satisfy his curiosity about Eve's theory.  

_It would be a miracle, Eve._

_Well, isn't that what we are, more or less?  A miracle?  We shouldn't exist, yet we do.  Can you explain us?_

_No._

_Then don't discount this as a possibility until you've seen it disproven with your own eyes.  Think of it Adam...if nothing else, alive or not, you'd have an opportunity to see your baby._

 

"Selina."

She startled when she heard his voice, her body jerking involuntarily out of her deep sleep.  She groaned a little, turning on her side to bury her face against his hip.

"Selina, wake up baby.  I want to take you somewhere tonight."

"Mmm."  She scooted closer and Adam watched the sheet tug down, slipping off her bare breasts.  The sight of her exposed flesh made him fidget a little, a growing discomfort suddenly heating in his belly.  She had been sleeping naked beside him, but aside from holding her in his arms with her permission, he never touched her.  He wanted to...he still desired her so deeply and so intensely that it made him feel sick, but her words still rang in his head, echoing through his skull like a constant alarm behind his eyes.

_Never touch me again._

He would respect that command until she retracted it.

 

On the way to the hospital, he looked at her for a long moment before speaking.

"I want to look at the baby with the hospital's ultrasound.  I've worked it out with the technician that supplies our blood."

Selina's head spun around to look at him in surprise.  "You want to _what?_  Why?"

"Eve...has this theory.  She thinks that maybe it's possible the fetus went into stasis and could have survived."  He looked over at her, worried about how she was taking this.  "It is half vampire, isn't it?  Half me?"

She stared at him, her eyes blank, revealing nothing of how she felt in that moment.  "Are you asking me if you're the father?"

"Well...yes, I suppose I am."

She turned her face away, looking out the window into the darkness, the passing streetlamps shining momentarily in her eyes each time one went by.  In that long moment of strained silence, Adam waited for her answer, both dreading it and needing desperately to have it, either option so heavy that he felt suffocated by the anticipation of which it would be.

"Yes, you're the father.  I never slept with anyone else, Adam."  She finally turned back to him, her face still curiously blank, though there was something in her eyes, something pained and pleading.  "There was only ever you."

 

 

_To be continued..._

 


	11. Absolution

 

 

 

"If it's earlier than twelve weeks it will be difficult to find transdermally, I'll need to take a look transvaginally."

Adam held Selina's hand, asking her permission with his eyes.  She nodded, laying back on the hard table.  "It should be about eight weeks."

_Eight weeks...give or take a decade._

She closed her eyes, expecting to see nothing on the little screen except a lifeless shape, inhabiting a useless part of her body forever.  A tear squeezed out from under her lashes and she felt Adam kiss her fingers.

"It'll be okay, baby," he whispered to her gently.

A sudden deafening _whoosh_ ing sound rattled the ceiling speakers and Adam and Selina both jumped, their instinctive flight reaction making them move so quickly the technician couldn't even see them before they were settled again, as if nothing had happened.  "Sorry about that," she apologized, turning a dial on the handheld device that she was holding between Selina's legs.  "Had that turned up way too high."

She had switched it completely off and was now turning it up slowly, till a low pulsing rushing sound could be heard clearly, at a more comfortable volume.

"What is that?" Adam asked, concentrating on the sound with his eyes closed.  "Sounds like blood pumping."

"That's your baby's heartbeat."

 

He stared at the little screen, at the tiny bean-shaped thing, squirming and twitching.  It looked just like the black and white photo Selina had brought to show him that night.  He blinked hard to erase the image from his mind, trying to replace it with this one. _That was before._  When he opened his eyes again, he saw the baby, his and Selina's baby, very much alive and kicking.

"Why is it moving like that?  Are the soundwaves hurting it?"

"No, at this stage their nerve centers are formed but not fine tuned yet.  They have no control over their movements.  It's a good sign, means everything is the way it should be."  She smiled at Selina, perhaps a little bit enviously as her eyes went back to Adam, staring fascinated at the image of the tiny fetus.  His hand was resting on Selina's knee, his fingers nervously gripping her jeans.

"Is it male or female?" he asked.  He didn't know why it made any difference, but it hadn't escaped his notice that Selina referred to it as _her._ It didn't really matter to him...the baby was alive, he was watching it move, hearing its rapid heartbeat.  

He was looking at his redemption.

"It's too early to tell.  At around twenty weeks we should be able to determine the sex.  Let me guess - you're hoping for a boy?  I think all guys do at first."

Adam shook his head, his eyes still on the screen, reaching out hesitantly to touch the squirming image of his child.  "If I had a choice, perhaps," he said, lost in contemplation, smiling a little as the baby jumped. "The idea of three women bossing me around for all eternity is a bit...daunting."

The tech raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything.

 

They lay in bed together hours later, waiting for morning so they could sleep, face to face, unspeaking.  Adam stroked Selina's cheek gently with a fingertip, slowly, not teasing but just feeling her, committing every line and curve of her face to memory, comparing it to what was already stored there.  She hadn't changed, she was exactly as she had been the last time he'd seen her.  So young, so beautiful, so full of life...despite what he'd done to her.  In spite of everything.  

Eventually she took his hand and pulled it down to her belly, pressing his palm against herself.  "We need to call Eve," she said quietly, smiling as he stroked her stomach lovingly.  "She figured it out...maybe she'll have a theory on how to help her heal so she can grow."

"She?"

Selina smiled, the same shy, sweet, girlish grin that had warmed his heart and made him look at her like a lovesick puppy.  "I've always felt it was a girl.  From the first moment I found out."

Adam scooted closer, bringing himself to her instead of pulling her to him.  "I'm sorry you didn't get to tell me.  I know that's what you were coming to do.  I remember you saying you had wonderful news."

"Is that the last thing you remember?"

"As myself...yes."

She laid her hand against his cheek.  "Just let it end there."

 

_"I love you, Selina."_

_"How can you love me when you have Eve?"_

_"It's...complicated.  Time is like...well, like size.  The bigger something gets, the more space there is for more to go into it.  Living for so long...you have all this space to fill up.  There's more room for things."  He looked at her sheepishly, knowing his words were failing to describe his meaning adequately.  "There's room to love more people.  A mortal has what - seventy, eighty years?  That's only enough time to love one person, maybe two.  You extend that time and there's all this extra space."_

_She snuggled into him.  "So there's room in your heart for me."_

_"Exactly.  Yes."_

_She pressed her palm over the steady beat in his chest.  "But she was there first.  I'll respect that."_

_"She'll appreciate that."  He pushed a hand down the back of her pants, squeezing her cheek and rubbing, letting his fingers find their way into her underwear as a groan escaped her throat.  "Now no more talking, unless it's to beg me to fuck you harder."_

_The girl squirmed against him, her legs involuntarily separating to allow his hand free access to her.  "When will I meet her?"_

_Rolling her onto her back, situating himself on top of her, Adam nipped at her throat, both a threat and a promise of what was to come this night.  "I said no more talking."_

_"But - "_

_He tugged her jeans down, working quickly, his need rising as she lay submissive for him while he undressed her, her eyes watching him with interest.  He knew his own eyes were shifting unpredictably from blue to metallic green, betraying both his lust and his hunger, but she wasn't afraid of him.  He'd told her he could be dangerous...but there was no fear in her expression, just that sweet curiosity that he found so endearing.  He threw her jeans aside and knelt between her thighs to push his face into the lace of her panties._

_"But what...?"_

_She giggled, the sound interrupted by a sudden gasp as his mouth found her clit and sucked at it._

_"But...oh god Adam..."  Another gasp, and she squeezed her knees tight against his shoulders.  "Baise-moi plus fort."_

_He pulled his head up and looked at her, grinning as his fingers tugged her panties down.  "Did you just say 'fuck me harder' in French?"  He slipped a finger inside her and gave her soft inner walls a firm stroke._

_"You said no more talking unless - "_

_With a quick lick to her clit, he stopped her talking entirely.  The only sounds left to come from her throat were moans and sighs of pleasure, mingled with his own._

 

They slept together, Selina naked in his arms, but their only contact was in their embrace.  Adam wanted her, needed her desperately, but she gave no indication that she desired him in return.  He knew she needed time...time to forgive him, to finish healing, to regain her trust in him, if such a thing was even possible.  Time to accept him again.

"Who taught you to do those tricks?"  He was holding her close to his chest, stroking her long hair absently, like a treasured and pampered pet.  Her body was relaxed against him and he noticed for the first time the soft, slightly swollen bump in her belly, pressed to his hip.  The thought of their baby sleeping, nestled safely between them, calmed him somehow.

"Tricks?"

"All that sneaking around, making me sense you.  Hearing you.  That damn perfume of yours, I smelled that for months.  I even saw you a few times and I know you weren't actually here."  He tugged at her hair gently, turning her face up to his.  "Someone had to teach you that, it's not something we just automatically know how to do."

She smiled, playing with the white bone skull suspended from a cord around Adam's neck.  "It wasn't hard.  Don't you know how?"

"No.  I never learned, I didn't really see the need in knowing how to torment a person into losing their mind."

She giggled a little, letting the skull drop back against his chest.  "Did it work?"

"Did it work...hmm...you were watching, you tell me.  Did I look like I was losing my mind?"

Selina sighed, a heavy, sad sound that put a painful chill on Adam's heart.  "I wasn't trying to drive you crazy," she whispered, burrowing her head up under his arm, letting him cuddle her closer.  "I was just trying to let you know I was coming to you, to see if I would be welcome.  It took me a long time to get my nerve gathered enough to actually do it.  I wasn't sure you'd want to see me...but when I showed you my shadow and you tried so hard to grab it...I knew it was time."  Her hand came to his face and stroked his chin, the backs of her fingers playing gently across his cheekbone.  "I heard everything you said to me. Every word.  Every time you said you were sorry, every time you told me you loved me."  She turned her face up and he saw damp tears glistening there, unshed.

"...I heard every word."

 

They fed together, but Selina drank only a few sips of the O-negative that Adam kept stored in the refrigerator.  He let her drink from his wrist even though the sight of her slurping his blood from his veins aroused him almost unbearably...he was afraid she was still hungry after drinking so little from the supply, so he willed himself not to think of it as she fed from him instead.

"Here, baby," he finally said quietly, leaning his head to the side, showing her his neck.  "Go ahead, it's okay.  It will flow quicker from here."  He tried to control his breathing as she stared at his throat hungrily, ignoring the ache of his groin swelling in response to the sensual stimulation of her mouth nibbling tentatively at the sensitive flesh over his pulsepoint.  She sensed his arousal and scooted up into his lap, pressing her body close against him as she clamped her lips firmly to his neck;  the pressure of her weight on him made him groan, his cock throbbing in response. _"Selina...baby..."_

His hands came up to her back and to his surprise, she reached behind her and pulled them around to her front, pressing his palms to her breasts inside the battered old bathrobe she wore.  She was naked underneath it and his thumbs reflexively stroked across her nipples, pulling a low moan from her throat as she opened her mouth and he felt her fangs extend.  She pushed her crotch against his groin as she sank them into his neck, and within moments Adam was climaxing, the pent up release washing through him like a rush of waves crashing over a fall.  He heard Selina sucking hungrily at his throat as his body tensed and then relaxed again, his hands moving from her breasts to her back to rub her soothingly, keeping her calm, knowing it was up to him to prevent her from drinking too much and draining him.  He was lightheaded and weak but his wits were still about him enough to control the situation; but Selina suddenly pulled her head up and looked at him.

His blood was smeared on her lips, her eyes already shifting back to their normal shade of green, and he knew she was finished with him.  But she was panting, a little whimper escaping her throat, a sound that he understood as pure need.  She needed to find release just as badly as he had.

_"Tell me what you want, baby,"_   he whispered, running a finger across her brow to push back the long strand of hair that had fallen across it.  She looked so helpless, her face falling quickly into that heartbreaking mess that comes right before tears begin falling.  She shook her head, chewing at her lower lip, her fingers coming up to wipe his blood from her mouth.

"I'm not hungry anymore," was all she said.

 

"So we're operating on the assumption that since approximately the eight week mark, the fetus hasn't had the proper nutrients it's needed to grow - so it went into a self preserving stasis to avoid starving to death."  Eve looked at Selina, a very pointed stare of chastisement, one of many that she had issued since her arrival that night.  "Why aren't you eating?"

The girl looked down, staring at her hands.  "I've never taken to the taste of blood."

"So you only eat just enough to sustain yourself."

"Yes."

Eve sighed, but looked hopeful.  "Well that could be it.  If you're eating barely enough to sustain your own life, then there's nothing for the baby."

Adam had been silent up till this point, sitting by himself on the far side of the room, away from the two women - but his anger was starting to get the better of his patience and he stood, turning on Selina.

"I taught you how to take care of your needs, why haven't you been doing it?  Have you been starving yourself for the last ten years to spite me?"

Eve put her hand out in a protective gesture, stopping him from coming closer.  "Darling, back off.  We need to let her explain."

"Explain what?  That she hated me and what I turned her into so much that she's been slowly killing herself?  Did you think that would teach me a lesson, Selina?  Did it make you happy knowing I'd suffer forever with the guilt of murdering you twice?!"

Eve stood, putting herself between the silent girl and her angry husband, looking from one to the other, unsure how to mediate.  "Oh come on Adam, we're trying to work out a solution here and you're acting like a petulant child."

He snapped at her, his eyes flashing.  "Maybe I _am_ a petulant child."

"What?"

"I said,  _maybe I am_ a petulant child!"  He lowered his angry glare to the floor, knowing she didn't deserve his fury, then finally raised his eyes defiantly to meet her stare again.  "Do you know how old I was when I was turned, Eve?  Do you?"

"No, I don't."

"I was _seventeen._  So yeah, I guess a petulant child is probably a pretty fair evaluation of what I am."  He turned and walked out, leaving the door open behind him.

 

Eve found him later in the garden, sitting against the ancient oak with his knees up to his chin.  She settled on the ground next to him and slipped her arm around his shoulders.

"I never knew that about you, darling.  I suppose I never asked, did I?"  She leaned in to kiss his cheek and was met with indifference, no response at all to her touch.  "Oh sweetheart, I'm sorry, please do forgive me.  I got so excited when I thought we might have come up with a solution.  Just think of it!   _You're a father._  If we can fix this, you'll be able to hold your baby, watch her grow - "

"You too?"

"Hmm?  Me too what?"

"You're calling it a her, just like Selina does."

"Am I?  I suppose I am...interesting.  I wonder if I'm sensing something?"

Adam rolled his eyes, huffing derisively.  "You probably are.  That's what you do."

"Well, at any rate, if this is the solution it'll be a relatively easy fix, in theory...we just have to get Selina to eat the way she should, nourish the baby and herself, and...we'll see what happens."

A pause, then a resigned sigh as he glanced pointedly at the crooked back door to the house.  "Where is she?"

"Resting.  I convinced her to go on to bed, I told her we'd be in soon."

"We?"

"Yes, _we._  I'm going to sleep with the two of you.  She needs to rest and I plan to make sure you let her do it."  She tapped his nose with one finger and he rolled his eyes again.

"Eve, I haven't touched her since she came back.  Not even once, not that way.  And I'm not about to start any time soon."

"Well...if that's the case, maybe I'll have you myself."  She plucked at an unruly strand of his hair, tickling his cheek with it.  "It has been a while, hasn't it, my handsome Romeo."

 

 

_To be continued..._

 


	12. Shiver

 

 

Winter was coming.  A cold wind blew in from the city, setting the suburbs to frost each daybreak with sparkling sheets of diamond dusted ice over the streets and fields.  It was something Selina missed, since her rebirth as a being with eyes only suited for the night.  Morning was a lost friend whose absence was felt sorely.

Adam's heart bore the guilt of having taken it away from her.

Every morning when they went upstairs to sleep away the daylight hours in the dark safety of his bedroom, he did his best to make it up to her with tenderness and affection, and though she was receptive to his kindness, she turned cold when he indicated any desire to take it further than simple kissing and caressing.  He tried to hide his disappointment, but could no longer hide his need for her.  

Eve had returned to her home in Tangiers and was missed sorely.  The three had slept together while she was with them, piled up together in the big bed, Selina and Eve most often snuggled up with one another while Adam stretched out across the foot of the bed, under their legs.  It had always been his preference to sleep crossways in the bed, and the women simply used him as a pillow for their feet.  But now Eve was no longer with them, and more often than not Selina slept curled up into herself, her feet tucked under her, not touching him.  Sometimes he lay beside her and she would let him hold her against his body, but if she felt him become aroused, she would turn her back to him.  

He was frustrated, but kept it hidden from her as best he could.  Never again would he force himself on her, even if it meant spending the rest of eternity sleeping beside her without touching her.   _Never touch me again_ had lost its original absolute insinuation of no contact, replacing that directive with no _sexual_ contact.  But she even allowed him a small amount of that, when the euphoria of feeding overtook him and his body reacted without conscious input from him.  But she didn't help him, and though she sometimes rubbed herself against him while she fed, she always stopped herself.  Watching the momentary ecstasy in her face and then seeing it suddenly go blank was, perhaps, more frustrating to Adam than his inability to make love to her.  But he said nothing, respecting her right to make her own decisions concerning her own body, allowing her to press against him when she needed to, not protesting when she pulled away even when it physically hurt him to be denied release.

_Never again._

 

When night fell, Adam woke first, hungry to the point of weakness - but he wanted to be sure Selina went no longer than strictly necessary before feeding, so he waited.  Eve had made him promise he would look after her needs, a promise that wasn't necessary as he had already vowed to himself to put her needs above his own.  He knew she wouldn't do it without him.

He bit his own wrist and held it near her face so she could smell his blood.

"Drink, Selina.  It's for the baby."

She roused, stirring briefly as she caught his scent, reaching up with her eyes still closed to clutch his arm and bring it to her mouth.  Adam hissed with pain when her teeth sank into his flesh;  even though he had opened the vein himself, the urge to bite was strong for their kind, and Selina hadn't learned yet to fully control her impulses.

He felt the familiar, almost instant arousal that came from feeding her and stilled his breathing, concentrating on keeping himself under control. She never seemed to mind if he let himself go, recognizing his unrequited passion for her in the midst of the bloodlust that descended on both of them when there was blood being exchanged between them.  But hers manifested itself differently, in a blind, almost childlike eagerness that lasted only a few moments before she made herself stop.  She never drank much, even when Adam urged her to continue.  She would shake her head and wipe her chin, an almost embarrassed look crossing her face as her eyes fell anywhere but on him.  Something about the intimacy of sharing nourishment from each other's bodies made her uncomfortable.

She despised the taste of blood that had been removed from the source, finding it only palatable if it came straight from a vein.  But Adam couldn't feed her enough without endangering himself, so he allowed her to drink from him just until her hunger was sated enough to no longer be painful or she stopped on her own, then he switched her to the bottled blood from the hospital clinic.  It made her feel sick to drink it, but he urged her to continue for the baby's sake.  She needed to eat enough for herself as well as the child.  Eve's theory was that with adequate nourishment, the fetus would emerge from stasis and begin developing normally.  It made sense, he supposed...he'd known Eve to be right about far less likely things.

"Do you think it will work?" Selina asked quietly, her face a grimace of distaste as she sipped at the crystal sherry glass of deep red O-negative.  Adam touched the bottom of the glass with his fingertips, encouraging her to drink more.

"I don't know.  I hope so."  His eyes fell to her lap, where her stomach curved gently into the slightest of bulges, almost completely hidden by the hem of her blouse.  "I would like to be a father, I think."

There was a tremor of emotion in his voice that caught Selina's attention and she watched him, curious, as his face twisted for a moment, a moment so brief that she almost thought she'd imagined it.  An expression of grief and hope and the possibility of forgiveness, all tumbling across his face in that telling few seconds when she realized what the baby inside her meant to him.

Redemption.  Forgiveness, not from her, but for himself.  Absolution from his sins, and a way to finally, finally, live with himself again.

 

_"Fuck, Selina....baby, I love you."_

_He had just come, his climax shaking him on top of her, his final few thrusts pulling her to her own peak before he'd even caught his breath. Her eyes fluttered open, looking up at him with an expression of surprise and - happiness?  But she felt confused more than elated by his words.  Had he spoken them in haste, a heat of the moment revelation that he would later regret...or worse, pretend he'd never said?_

_"But Adam...your wife..."  She shifted beneath him, suddenly uncomfortable, his body heavy on her._ _He looked down at her, not understanding._

_"What about her?"_

_"I know you said this was okay with her...but loving someone besides her?  Is she okay with that?"_

_He rolled over onto his back, pulling her with him to settle on his chest.  "She wants me to be happy, baby.  She knows I care about you, she knows you're special."  He touched her face.  "She wants me to love you."  He paused, wrapping his arms around her tightly, taking comfort in the strong beat of her heart against him.  "And she wants you to love me, too."_

_Selina smiled, a gesture not lost as Adam felt it against his skin.  "Does she always get what she wants?"_

_A small chuckle, tickling her ear as it rumbled deep in his chest where her head lay._

_"Yes...she does."_

 

The nights grew longer, colder, the sky more star filled and clear.  Adam helped Selina step out of the attic window onto the roof to gaze up into the blackened blue expanse of eternity with him, something he had taken to doing since her first phantom appearance.  He didn't know why, but the stars, in all their untouchable beauty and sad nothingness, seemed to calm him.  They reminded him of her.

But the nothingness was no longer there.  She was no longer a wraith, haunting him.  She was real, flesh, blood, and bone, sleeping beside him, smiling into his eyes, existing on the same immortal plane with him.  She was there, on the roof with him in the cold night air, staring up at the stars with a joy and light in her eyes that had died out of his long ago, like the very pinpricks of ancient, dead light that they were looking at.

But it no longer mattered.

_I forgave you, Adam.  The moment it happened, I forgave you._

_Don't say that, Selina.  It can't be true._

_It is._

_You can't have valued your mortal life so little...I know you treasured it, you fought for it for so long._

_But it was gone, Adam.  I had something else to value._

_...what?_

_Eternity._

 

As she curled into his side, Adam stretched his arm out so that she could rest her head on it.  When she settled, he turned a little so that their bodies were touching everywhere they could.  The roof was hard, unyielding, uncomfortable beneath them...but the sky was soft and black above their heads, the stars putting on a show of twinkling and glowing through the last of the city haze.  Soon the intense cold would clear the sky completely and they would be able to see it all, other galaxies, solar systems, star clusters and atmospheric phenomena.  Selina listened intently as Adam named the ones they could see, watched closely as he pointed out various constellations for her.  And when she snuggled closer, pressing tightly against his body, he quieted for a moment so that he could try to hear her soul whispering to his.  He wasn't sure if they had souls, the immortals...but if anyone deserved to have kept theirs, it was her.  Perhaps his had lingered as well, maybe that was why he was always so discontented, restless, melancholy. Had his soul stayed inside him, instead of being banished to the darkness?

Or had, perhaps, Selina brought it back with her...?

Nonsense.

Pulling her tighter against him, he stilled, listening to her sigh into his chest.  Her belly was against his hip, he could feel the softly swollen bump where their baby lay nestled pressing into him.  He met her quiet sigh with one of his own, sensing something a moment later that startled him out of his contented reverie.

_Movement against his hip._

So slight he wasn't sure he'd actually felt it.  It couldn't be...could it?

Selina had been eating more, was it enough?  Adam spent so much time fretting over whether she was feeding properly that he had paid attention to little else other than following Eve's strict orders to nurture her and the baby, to watch out for them, to make her do the things necessary to prove Eve's theory a reality.  Had it happened?

"Selina - ?"

_"Shhhh..."_

Silence fell between them, both vampires holding their breath, waiting, straining to hear something that made no sound.  It didn't need to.  The little fluttering movement, so slight that it was barely even there, tremored through both of them like the rumbling of an earthquake.

Neither of them said anything.  There was nothing to be said.

 

They stayed on the roof till morning's first dim shadow peeked over the horizon, the gracious warning of impending daylight, giving them time to climb back in through the window and pull the curtains against the coming of the sun.  Adam held Selina tightly, steadying her like a protective caretaker;  the baby, their child, was finally real to him and he intended to watch over its safety.

_Is it mortal?_

_Is it immortal?_

_Is it some halfblood hybrid?_

No one could answer his questions, there was no one to ask.  But answers weren't necessary, all he cared about was that he'd felt it move...his child was finally growing, potentially thriving,  _alive._

 

_"You're definitely pregnant.  See that bright spot right there?  That's the heart beating."_

_Selina squinted at the small screen;  she'd left her glasses at Adam's house.  "Are you absolutely sure?"_

_The nurse laughed, pressing a button on the ultrasound scope.  A whooshing sound filled the room._

_"The heartbeat.  You can't get much more sure than that."_

_The girl nodded, a shiver of excitement and dread rippling through her.  She'd only been sleeping with Adam for a short while, a handful of months...there was so much she still didn't know about him.  How would he take this news?  They'd never used protection, she'd assumed it wasn't possible for someone like him...not quite living...to impregnate her.  But she'd been with no other men, only Adam._

_"You look more confused than elated," the nurse commented, withdrawing the scope and lowering the sheet over Selina's raised knees.  "I take it papa has no idea yet?"_

_"Hmm?  Oh - no, he doesn't."_

_A sympathetic smile.  "Just show him this."  The machine next to the exam table churned out a small black and white photo;  she tore it off and handed it to Selina.  "If that doesn't make him happy, nothing will."_

 

 

 _To be continued..._  


	13. Eros

 

 

"It's growing, Eve.  You were right."

She didn't dare to speak for a moment, until she saw the look on his face.

"The baby?"

He nodded.

"Oh Adam, that's marvelous news!  How do you know?"

"We felt it move...I felt it."  The smile that pulled at the corners of his mouth made him look so young and innocent, Eve's heart ached for him - the light in his eyes had been gone for so long that now, seeing it relit, was overwhelming.

"Is she still eating properly?"

"Yes."

"Feeding regularly?  The good stuff, the O-negative?"

"Yes."

"It's your job to keep her well fed darling, make sure that you - "

"Eve, I've got this."

She sighed, but it was through a wide smile.  "Oh my darling, I'm so proud of you.  Look at you, being all responsible, taking care of another person."  Adam's response was a shy casting of his eyes to the floor, his own smile broadening at her praise.  "Well keep track of the growth speed, I don't want to miss the birth.  We don't know if this gestation will take the typical nine months or if it will be different because Selina is - "

She stopped, unsure of the word she was about to say.  Adam said it for her.

"Dead."

"One of us," she corrected him quickly when she saw the smile leave his face.  "Immortal.  And it's not like we can just rush her to the hospital when the time comes, we're going to have to deliver the baby ourselves you know."

Adam nodded, wincing.  "I know.  I've thought of that."  He looked up, his eyes pleading.  "Will you come?  I don't know if I can do it alone."

"Of course, my darling.  Monitor her progress carefully.  I'll come well before she's due.  And sweetheart?"

He waited, but knew she wouldn't finish her question until he responded.  He wasn't sure he wanted to hear her afterthought.

"Yes?" he finally asked, quietly.

"Get laid.  Please, do us all a favor.  You're so tense you look like you're going to explode."

 

That morning they lay in bed together, arms loose around each other, talking quietly of past things, history, Adam's life through all those long centuries of endless existence.  Selina's curiosity hadn't faded and she asked him questions, things he thought couldn't possibly be of interest to her, but as she got him to open up and the stories began tumbling out of him, he felt happy.  It had been like this between them before, her endless curiosity about his life.  He'd always been reticent to open up and tell her what he'd seen, who he'd known...but she knew he had stories, and she badgered him until he gave them up.  He was relieved to find she was the same now;  it comforted him somehow that at least this part of her wasn't altered by the change he'd forced upon her.

He stopped talking suddenly, looking down to find her staring up at him, her face the same sweet innocence and girlish adoration that he remembered from before, when she was mortal, the student who began as his business associate and then became his friend...and then his lover. There was no business between them now, though.  She was no longer a student.  Was she his friend?  He wasn't sure...she tolerated him, showed him kindness most days, affection at times.  She still had that smile that he knew was for him alone.  Friends?  Perhaps.  But he wanted the rest. She'd been his lover, she had come willingly to his bed and it wasn't long before she only left it to attend classes and fetch the things they needed. They'd been lost in each other and everything else had just...gone away.

Could they lose themselves again...?

He lowered his head to hers and hesitated, waiting for her permission.

"May I kiss you?" he whispered.

A long pause, then a slight nod, and Selina parted her lips for him.

 

He pressed against her, resisting the urge to push her over onto her back;  it was too soon, too rough, he was too anxious.  He wanted so badly to climb on top of her, to mount her and find that sweet hot place between her legs where he would be welcome and loved, but he willed himself to stay lucid and in control of his impulses.  His thigh was between her knees and he slipped it higher, slowly, to test her agreeableness to contact. She didn't stop him, and when her legs parted slightly to allow him to press his thigh fully against her, he groaned and bit at her neck with a pained urgency.

_"Adam..."_

His fangs came down and he nipped her sharply, expressing his arousal;  it was both a request and a warning that he was close to being overcome with desire, and she hissed out a response to his bite as she arched her back and pushed against him.  He felt her rubbing herself on his thigh, a low moan slipping quietly from her throat.

 _"Selina...please..."_  His voice was agonized, pleading, begging her to say yes but waiting, holding back, hesitating.   _"Please, baby..."  
_

A long silence, filled only with the sounds of their labored breathing and the rustling of the black satin sheets beneath them, the muted rubbing sound of skin on skin as their bodies strained against each other, the occasional wet smack of lips on flesh as they kissed and nipped and sucked at one another.  Selina's fangs descended and he heard her whimper helplessly against the arousal of smelling his blood, of tasting it on her tongue as she sipped at the shallow scratches she left on his throat.  The whimper became a moan and he felt her body change, become different somehow, her muscles relaxing and her posture softening, the way she felt against him signaling a shift from hesitation to full approval.

And then, finally, the empty space waiting for an answer to fill it was suddenly, quietly, filled.

_"Yes."_

 

They were both naked already - they always slept nude, it helped them to slip more easily into the deep, dreamless slumber they needed to rejuvenate their bodies, with only the cool soft sheets touching them. Adam's hands moved slowly over Selina's skin, savoring the feel of her, the softness of her flesh, the sweet spot where her hip curved inward to her waist, the spot that always made her close her eyes and sigh when he touched her there...his fingers played gently over that spot now and she reacted the way he remembered, her eyelids fluttering shut and a quiet little sigh falling softly from her lips.  Everything about her was soft in his memory, her skin, her hair, her breath, her voice...the way she moved beneath him, the way she touched him, her warm insides and her gasps of ecstasy.  All soft as the first breeze of Autumn traipsing slowly over the still-warm fields of lingering Summer wildflowers.  

He inhaled her scent - vanilla and tobacco, so familiar, so beautifully sensual.  The scent that always comforted and aroused him, even when she wasn't there, even when she sent it ahead of herself to let him know she was coming to him.  He let it fill his lungs as he moved over on top of her, finally letting himself dare to think she would allow him to make love to her.  

_Never touch me again..._

"Adam, touch me...please..."

He did as she asked of him, pressing his body to hers, letting the entire length of himself meet with her.  But though her legs opened to him, he held back.

_She has to give her permission._

_Nothing without her permission._

_Never._

The groan that left her throat as she pushed up against him was pure need, all desire and want and the soft thrilling whisper of wordless longing. Her hands slid slowly over his back, down over his buttocks to tickle the backs of his thighs.   _"Make love to me, Adam,"_ she finally whispered into that hollow where collarbone dips in to neck.  Her words lingered there till she nipped the tender flesh at the base of his throat, drawing just enough blood to rub her lips into.   _"Please take me, Adam."_

He panted with lust, a need so deep that his bones ached with the intensity of it.  It had been so long...he physically hurt for her, to plunge himself deep into her and be one with this girl, this woman that he loved, that he'd never stopped loving.

"Are you sure...?"

She was panting like him now, pushing her hips up to meet his, her hands pulling at his shoulders desperately.  She wanted to be closer to him, needed to be as close as they could physically get.

"Yes," she whined, blindly pushing against him.   _"I need you."_

His arousal at a fever pitch, Adam summoned all that was left of his self control as he separated from her just long enough to position himself between her legs, moving so that his stiffened cock was at her entrance.  Physically hurting from holding back, he raised his head and looked into her face, his eyes pleading, voice barely a pained whisper.  There was nothing left in him except this need, this undying desire that made his blood rush and his heart clutch and his body tremble.

_"Please?"_

She nodded.

_"Please."_

 

Her body welcomed him with the warmth and softness he remembered, and he thrust himself into it with an abandon that both elated and frightened him.  

 _Don't let me hurt you, Selina,_  he begged.   _Don't let me hurt the baby._ He put his hand between them, against her belly where the hard little bump was nestled between her hipbones.  He could feel it when he pushed against her and it kept him from losing control of himself.  He looked at her with all the pent up longing and denied passion and remembered love and she smiled up at him, touching his face with her fingers, pressing her palm to his cheek.

"Rock our baby to sleep, Adam."

 

Their passion reignited, they lost themselves in each other again, the way they had before when they had mixed the forbidden...mortal and immortal...now both immortal and joined forever.  Selina surrendered her body to him completely and he took gentle care of it, cradling her as he pushed into her, kissing her tenderly, whispering sweet words to her.  She responded with abandon, bringing her legs up around his hips, her hands tangling in his hair, moaning in lustful approval as he rubbed against her, lowered his head to suck at her breasts, reached between them to stroke her.  They moaned each other's names into flesh heated by friction and kissed so hard their lips bled, and when Selina's back arched and her breath caught in her throat, Adam released into her with a deep groan of relief, both physical and emotional.  As Selina's climax tugged at his cock, pulling him deeper into herself while the last waves of pleasure rolled over and over through them both, a strangled set of words tumbled over Adam's tongue and fell to her ears.

_I love you._

 

"You were my first again."

"Hmm?"

She turned her face to him and smiled through sleepy eyes.  "You took my virginity for the second time.  My new body."  She made a slow sweeping motion with her hand, head to toe.  "It's only ever been you for me, both living and...not."

The smile he returned was almost shy and it made her heart ache.  He was so beautiful, so preternaturally handsome, but he'd always seemed so lost.  Lost and adrift in a world he didn't quite belong to.

"Are we going to have that discussion again?"

"Which one?"

"You know which one.  The whole... _undead_ thing."

She considered this for a moment, remembering the argument they had rehashed so many times, usually when he was trying to convince her of the benefits of letting him turn her.  He'd tried so hard to make her understand that he was alive - but his heartbeat, the fact that he bled, they did little to convince her.  Movies and monster novels had colored her understanding of the immortals, and this new concept of a living vampire seemed unlikely to her.  But yet, she felt warmth under the surface of his cool skin...and now, with life - or something like it - growing inside her, she had no choice but to accept the facts before her own eyes.  

_How could something not living contribute to the creation of life?  And how could something dead support something alive?_

"I know, Adam.  Undead equals not dead, equals alive."  She reached up to tap his nose.  "I know we're living things.  I'm closer to understanding it.  Or maybe just accepting it."  She rubbed her stomach and he laid his hand on top, lacing his fingers through hers.

"Do you think the baby will be like us?"

She thought for a moment, her eyes staring somewhere too far away for him to see.  "I don't know.  I was mortal when I conceived her."

"There you go again," he grinned into her shoulder as he settled against her side.  "You and Eve, calling it _she_ and _her."_

"Why shouldn't we call it  _she_ and _her?"_ she teased.  "It's a girl, those are the proper pronouns for a female."

"You're so convinced, are you?  Well, I'm naming it Jack, regardless of its gender."

She gave him a questioning look, but his eyes were closed, getting ready to sleep.

"Jack?  Why?"

"I don't know."

"Just being arbitrary?"

He smiled, tugging the sheet up to his waist and sliding an arm across her belly.

"It's what I do."

 

 

_To be continued..._


	14. Solicitude

 

 

"Selina, we don't even use plates.  Why do you keep these?"

She cast him a sideways glance but didn't answer, simply kept moving about the kitchen, putting things into cabinets, sorting others into the pantry.  She had moved Adam's clutter, his cables and equipment and bundles of wire and tubs of bolts, and cleaned the entire kitchen till it looked, almost, like a functioning  _normal_  place to cook and eat.  Except they didn't cook, and they didn't eat, at least not in ways that required a kitchen.  The dishes she'd found packed away in one of the disused bedrooms.

Adam watched her in confusion, a bit alarmed by the distracted, almost numb way she wandered around the kitchen.

"Baby, what are you doing?"

And then he realized.  She was still so young...she'd been mortal just a decade ago.  She hadn't forgotten these things yet, the mundane day to day existence things that mortals do.  And though she knew she would never cook a dinner on the freshly cleaned stove or serve it to Adam on the sparkling antique plates she'd just stacked neatly in the cabinet, it was still something ingrained in her.

He waited until she moved near him and reached out, pulling her to him in a tight embrace, holding her head to his neck.  "I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I don't mean to be insensitive.  I've just forgotten what it's like."

She let him hold her for a moment, then slipped out of his hug and continued putting the dishes away.  Adam moved to help her, taking a pot lid from the strainer and looking at it with confusion.  "Where do we keep these?"

Selina glanced at it, then moved wordlessly past him to open a lower cabinet.  Her face was curiously blank, unemotional, as if she were deep in thought but not in the same room with him.

 

_"Have you ever heard Sympathy For The Devil?"_

_He shot her a sideways look but it was impossible to tell if his eyes were on her, hidden behind his dark sunglasses._

_"No wait, you probably wrote it.  You did, didn't you?  You wrote it.  It sounds like something you would write."_

_He shook his head, turning his face back to the procession filling the street.  She'd talked him into taking her to the fireworks festival in the city, and the parade was just starting.  He seemed nervous, being around so many people, but Selina had chosen a spot away from the crowd at the mouth of an alley where he could step back into the shadows if he felt the need._

_"I'm hungry," he said, quietly._

_Glancing around, Selina let him lead her by the hand into the darkness of the alley;  she knew better than to make him wait, if he got too hungry he would start flashing his fangs at strangers and that was never a good thing.  Once they were out of view she turned her neck up to him, wincing when he pushed her up against the cold brick wall._

_His teeth sank in deeply, and she felt her blood pouring into his mouth._

_"Ohhh...Adam..."_

_His hands came up to her breasts as he sucked at her throat, squeezing her nipples through her thick sweater, making her moan.  As her pulse quickened Adam's arousal intensified, his cock stiffening against her belly, pinning her to the wall with his body, hips thrusting against her instinctively...and Selina, weakening slowly, never resisted._

_The brick wall scuffed her bare back as her sweater rode up against the pounding of Adam's body against hers as he put himself inside her, fucking her violently, hands grasping her ass to pull her legs up around his waist so he could take her weight on his hips and drive himself more deeply into her.  As her heart rate increased, so did the gush of her blood into his mouth, and he felt the euphoria overtaking him in a blinding, mind numbing rush._

_To anyone glancing into the darkened alley, they were just two lovers sharing a tryst._

_And when they were finished, they stumbled back into the crowd, Selina leaning heavily against Adam as he supported her with his arm around her shoulders, appearing for all the world like a couple enjoying the fireworks with perhaps a bit too much booze in their recent past.  Nobody noticed him wiping the blood off his chin, nor the puncture marks in her neck that he quickly covered with the collar of the jacket that he hastily draped around her.  The otherworldly glow in his eyes, if anyone saw it, passed as a reflection of the lights exploding across the night sky instead of the physical manifestation of his true nature._

_The mark of a predator, the night hunter._

_But he'd sated his hunger, so the crowd was spared the other mark of the predator.  Instead of his teeth on their throats, they'd been on hers._

_She stumbled and fell against him, but nobody gave them a second look._

 

"I'm peeing.  Why am I peeing?"

"I don't know.  I haven't pissed since the 16th century, I honestly couldn't tell you."

Eve, as always, bore the voice of reason from halfway across the world.

"The baby is...half mortal...your body has to do certain things to support its life.  Your body doesn't create waste products, but the baby's does.  It would probably eventually poison you if your body didn't dispose of it.  It's just doing what it needs to to keep you both healthy."

It made sense, so neither questioned it.  Selina left the room so Adam could speak to his wife in private.  She had no idea what the two ancient lovers talked about when she wasn't in the room, but Adam's voice always sounded so calm as she listened from elsewhere, their words unclear through the thick walls of the old house, but his tone was never lost to her.

She knew Adam loved Eve, with all his heart.

But she also knew a part of that heart belonged to her.  Definitely not the biggest part, perhaps not the deepest, absolutely not the most devoted.  But somewhere inside his chest, in that still beating piece of him that reminded her they were living things every time she felt it against her cheek, a chunk was partitioned off with her name written indelibly on it.  She didn't begrudge Eve her possession of the majority. The little bit that was hers was hers alone, undeniably, irrefutably, and exclusively - and she treasured it as if it were all she had or would ever have.  It was more than enough.

"Adam, fix your bathroom.  It hasn't worked since Edison was a boy.  And get that airplane engine out of the bathtub, Selina might want to take a soak to relax."

"Alright."

"And it wouldn't do you any harm to clean the place up a bit."

"She's been doing that already."

"Has she?"  Eve's face fell to sheer joy, a happy wonder filling her bright eyes.  "She's nesting.  How marvelous."

Adam smiled, his wife's happiness infectious despite his dour demeanor.

"Will you come soon?"

"As soon as she's ready for me.  Have you been doing the ultrasounds with your friend at the hospital?"

"Yes."

"And what have they indicated concerning how far along she is?  Is the baby still developing at a normal rate?"

"A bit fast now, I think.  The last one said she's twenty eight weeks.  Two weeks prior to that it said twenty three."

"Oh.  Well I suppose I'd better start packing then."  She gave him a smile from so very far away, it pulled at him till he reached out to put his hand on the screen.  "Don't worry, my love," she assured him in that voice that never failed to calm his soul.  "Everything will be beautiful."

 

Climbing into the bed quietly, he nudged up against Selina, reaching his arm over her swollen belly, tucking his hand in between her thighs.  She moaned in her sleep, a contented little sound that made him feel at ease.

_Everything will be beautiful._

 

 

To be continued...

 

 


	15. Annus Mirabilis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the handful of you who have followed this story through to the end. You're a small and exclusive group and I appreciate you :)

 

The curtains were pulled, the heavy drapes shut tight against the morning sun that beat tirelessly against the other side, failing but never giving up trying.  The world went on about its business, bathed in that sunlight, oblivious to what went on in the quiet little places that were hidden from it.

Quiet little places that no one suspected housed life - darkened houses, abandoned to the living - some of those houses made of wood, others of flesh.

The old Victorian sat quietly, unassumingly, a quaintly gothic beauty now fallen sadly to disrepair to any eyes that passed, protecting and hiding those inside it from both the light and the gazes of the world.  Its inhabitants moved about in their little universe, not caring what the day dwellers got up to, so long as they did it _out there._ Live and let live had been the vampires' motto for centuries, far longer than the stories and legends had been claiming otherwise.  There weren't many of them left to tell stories about.  But sometimes, every great now and then, a new vampire was born - most birthed by blood and the unwilling sacrifice of mortality.

And even less often, a new life was created through more conventional methods, from a love between ancient and new.

_Miracles still happen, Adam.  I've lived four thousand years and every time I see one, I'm still awed by the perfection of life finding its own way through the darkness of the universe._

 

A handsome young male with shaggy raven black hair, old far beyond the days that showed on his face, lay curled up on an ornate carved wood-poster bed, his delicately beautiful features softening into a smile as he wiggled his fingers above a tiny infant's head. The baby reached for him, its miniscule fists pumping madly in the air, unformed words gurgling happily from its mouth.

"Good girl, Jack," he praised the child as he tickled her tummy.

The baby scowled, stretching her legs up to capture Adam's wrist between her feet, pulling it down and latching onto his index finger, gums frantically biting and gnawing as he laughed.

"Selina, you should see this - "

He stopped, wincing as he felt sharp little teeth suddenly protrude, slicing his finger open.  He stared as the newborn sucked, slurping hungrily at his spilled blood.  Looking down at his child with an expression of half shock, half pleasant surprise, he smiled, a slow, joyous expression that lit his face with a happy pride he hadn't felt since he was mortal.

"Well well...aren't you something new."

 

 

The End

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gorgeous artwork for this chapter by the fantastic @vivianstark!


	16. Sequel

 

**~ The story continues in[Jack Montague](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6319945) ~ **

 

_Adam and Selina's baby girl Jack is all grown up now, a half vampire/half mortal roaming the back streets of Detroit looking for excitement and causing trouble - when a chance meeting with a being as otherworldly as herself opens up a whole new realm of possibilities._

_Loki, God of Mischief - banished to Earth, locked out of his own time - has made himself a nice little life among the mortals, moving easily among them while working as an assassin of sorts. Was it an accidental twist of fate that brought him across the path of the monster? Or was their meeting fated for a specific purpose? Either way, the two earthbound abominations can't seem to quit each other...but will they SURVIVE each other?_

_And more importantly, **will Loki survive Jack's father?**_

 

 

<http://archiveofourown.org/works/6319945>


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